(Closed) Who is supposed to pick the reading: us or the reader?

posted 10 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

I was under the impression that the reader is supposed to read what the bride and groom pick! If she wants to offer something else, I’d give her the option of doing it as a toast. The ceremony is a very personal thing and should include things that are meaningful to you, not your reader. But that’s just my opinion.

Again, I’m all for people presenting you with readings they hold dear or blessings, but that seems more like something that would be done at the reception or the rehearsal dinner not the ceremony. I’m not etiquette expert though.

Post # 4
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

this is odd.  have always assumed that you pick out what your reader would read.

i thought the only person that you didnt have "full control" over was your minister. since many of them have a script they prefer to stick to…..

perhaps she is the confused one?

i would tell her "thank you for looking up these additional passages, but FH and I have decided on the one i sent you previously. Thanks!" 

if you’re the shy type, you could delay this response for a day or two to make it appear that you actually considered her options.

Post # 5
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I think that you get to choose.  Although its certainly nice of your friend to put some thought into the issue.  Certainly tell her that you and Fiance chose the reading together, and maybe explain why, and let her know that although you appreciate her suggestions, after thinking it over you want to stick with your original choice.  If this seems like a problem for her, maybe you want to get someone else to do it.  I would personally be really nervous about someone "explaining" during the ceremony why they chose the reading they did – there shouldn’t really be any surprises in that part of the service.

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