Post # 1
Member
2270 posts
Buzzing bee
SO’s older sister is easily the most popular person we know. She invited 65 friends to her baby shower, 65! That does not include the family members that came. Those 65 guests were all friends that she had met in high school, art school and along the way. They came from New Husband, MA, CT, RI, and NY. I could not believe it. Some of her friends drove 6 hours, one way, to come to the baby shower.
Every single person she invited came. Everyone bought gifts or gave her cash. She got multiples on many items on her baby registry, and lots of cash.
She is constantly receiving text messages and invitations to hang out and do this or that. Yesterday she mentioned on Facebook that she was heading to the beach and where people could find her if they wanted to join. An hour later, she uploaded a pic of herself and the 10 friends that had decided to join her at the beach.
I only have 5 or 6 friends I would invite to my wedding (which will be a very small wedding). I only have 2 friends, plus SO that I see regularly and hang out with. I feel so lame and unpopular, lol.
So, who’s the most popular person you know?
Post # 3
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
65 seems excessive. How do you even keep up with that many people. I have a handful of close friends, and am very close to my family. I have 2 kids, and they take up a lot of time.
Your FSIL’s friendship ring may change once that baby rolls around.
Don’t feel bad. I heard a study once that said people can really only maintain 6 close relationships in their life (including spouse, family, friends, co-workers, etc.) I don’t stress about not having more friends, because the people I am close to- I am really close to. I don’t need a bunch of acquaintances that don’t really care about me.
Great story!
Post # 4
Member
6360 posts
Bee Keeper
How do you judge popularity in adulthood, where there is no clear “cool clique”? My Fiance is generally liked by everyone he comes in contact with. He’s got an easy smile and is always ready with some small talk.
He doesn’t have time for a billion faux-friends though… is that really popularity, or maybe extreme extroversion and a lot of spare time?
I’m slightly more introverted than extroverted, and I hate small talk, so by few definitions am I popular. Maybe I would be by one: If there is any such thing as an adult “cool clique,” I guess it would be big names, people everyone’s heard of and want to take pictures with or get autographs from… and because of my work I do know a few of those, as in see them in person sometimes, been to their houses, and have their numbers. But they’re not my besties or anything like that, and, I’ve noticed, they’re likely to be somewhat more irritating than other people, so it wouldn’t be anything to brag about, not that I do (aside from this thread I guess).
Post # 5
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
It’s hard to judge – I “see” LOTS of people 3x a year, at church or work function, but actually talking to every single week? Not a lot.
As for the most popular person I know… My best friend, we got close late college and afterwards… She has literally been in like 20 weddings. She is seriously like the girl in 27 Dresses! She is the kind of person that MANY people consider her to be their “best friend.” Which is slightly depressing for me, given that I’m in that category, but I take consolation in the fact that she has hinted that I would be her Maid/Matron of Honor if/when she gets married. 🙂
Post # 6
Member
7229 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I guess my number is fairly high, but that’s really only because I have a few very large groups of friends. Once upon a time there was something like 3 dozen of us that would go out 3-4 times a week (clubbing) + dinner or coffee dates in smaller groups throughout the week. Now we don’t hang out NEARLY that often, but if seeing them 3 times a year counts, then yeah… I’m still friends with all those people. Meanwhile, I was on a mission team so there’s another dozen people I stay in very close contact with. Now that they are all couple-ing up and I’m close to their SOs (most, close enough that I either talk on the phone or go out with them individually), it’s all doubled.
That makes the whole wedding thing scary as hell. I just did a quick rundown of my potential bridal shower guest list and yeah, I could totally invite 65 friends to my shower. We have a big family, too. There are going to be a lot of people mad that they aren’t going to get wedding invitations for sure.
ETA: I will say I’ve started to limit the social obligations, though. There was a time when my phone’s battery would die halfway through the day and I couldn’t go 10 minutes without it going off. I once left my phone at home for half a day and three friends were ready to call the police, thinking I was dead. I don’t put up with that crap anymore. No time! As it is, my SO and I are running all over Southern California most weekends. It’s too much!
Post # 7
Hostess
11168 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I have friends that have 400+ “friends” on FB…that doesn’t mean those people are actual friends. Inviting people to a baby shower, having large numbers of people friended on FB etc these things do not indicate popularity. You only need a small group of truly loyal and dedicated friends not an endless group of acquantenances.
I clicked 6-10 FWIW as I did not included strained/distant friendships or acquaintances.
Post # 8
Member
8696 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
Hmmm I’m not sure that I still think about “popularity” at 28 but I do know a lot of people. However, just bc I know or may hang out with a lot does not mean everyone is a “friend.” I would consider them acquaintances before an actual friend.
Post # 9
Member
4524 posts
Honey bee
The most popular person I know definitely isnt me, but Boyfriend or Best Friend says alot more people like me than I think…I just don’t talk enough IRL to find that out. Alot of people ask us to do stuff, and Boyfriend or Best Friend is used to having a huge group of friends. But I don’t trust most people farther than I can throw them and I think I probably give off that vibe, which results in a low friend count.
We know a couple who, at least it appears so, is positively drowning in friends. We like them both, but they are what we here in Dallas call “30,000-naires”, and I think alot of people younger than them assume they have money and influence and that may account for the people flocking to hang out with them.
Post # 10
Member
2270 posts
Buzzing bee
@angelalsmith3: I should have mentioned that the baby shower was 3 1/2 years ago. She still has tons of friends and sees friends all the time. It actually interferes with her parenting. Friends come over after work, and she is gone all weekend when she doesn’t have her daughter. She even makes plans on the days she does have her daughter and drops her off with her mother or grandmother. I made this post today because of her Facebook post yesterday. I couldn’t believe how many people met her at the beach despite it being rainy and shitty out.
I try not to feel too bad about it. I used to have tons of friends, but at least I have some good friends and SO. Btw, when i saw that she invited 65 friends, I actually snorted and told SO, “There is no way they’ll all show up. She’s lucky if half of them show. I’m guessing 25 will come…” Uhhh, yeah, I’m an idiot.
@red_rose: SO’s sister gets invited to multiple weddings a year, and has many people who consider her the best friend. She has been a bridesmaid so many times, and a maid of honor multiple times too.
@red_rose: When I said “see”, I meant you make it a point to meet up to hang out, not just catch a glimpse of each other. I should have clarified that. Sorry!
Post # 11
Member
10453 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Holy crap 65! I have a group of university friends but I’m pretty bad at staying in touch with them. My friends I work with it’s much easier – we go for coffee, lunch, chat at work, etc. I’m inviting about 25 friends (plus dates, some of whom I know and some I don’t) to the wedding.
Post # 12
Member
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I didn’t know popularity contests existed outside of high school. I have far less friends now than I did when I was younger and I’m beyond happy about it. The people I have lost along the way was for good reason and I don’t miss them one bit. IT’s far more important to have few, close, REAL friends than tons of acquaintances.
Post # 13
Member
1810 posts
Buzzing bee
65! WOW!
Let’s see… I have my husband, my mom, my sister, my dad, and my uncle. lol! I like my family more than most people. I have a few friends aside from those listed but not too many.
My sister, on the other hand, knows SO MANY people all over the world. She was in the Air Force for four years so she moved around a lot and met plenty of people. The thing is that she consistently puts in effort to maintain friendships with all of these people and create new friendships. That’s just the kind of person she is. She’s always sending post cards when we go somewhere cool or visiting people or sending birthday cards, etc. She enjoys being a good friend.
I just don’t get the same amount of pleasure out of all that, so I have fewer friends. That’s ok though– I just become friends with her really cool friends. Haha! 🙂
Post # 14
Member
854 posts
Busy bee
I don’t think I KNOW that many people, LOL. I voted 1-5. I talk to my sister about 2-3 a week via phone (we live 700 miles from each other).
Post # 15
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
@bunnyharriet: Hmmm i have yet to have a shower of any sort but the text/fb thing and people showing up is totally normal for me. i often get stressed out because i feel bad that i turn down multiple invites to hang out every week because im already booked (or even double booked) for the time period of the request. I know the same is true for a lot of my friends. I think some people are just more social than others.
Post # 16
Member
2143 posts
Buzzing bee
I have 6-10 close friends, tops.
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