Post # 1
Not exactly a Bridesmaid or Best Man issue, but sort of..
Little bit of background: I have 5 Bridesmaid or Best Man (4 in town and 1 close childhood friend that now lives in the States). Growing up our familes always went on holidays together. I was very close with the one girl who was my age and she has an older sister whom I was not so close with, as well as a sister who is about 10 years younger than us. At our engagement party in early October, my cousins and BMs decided to take a trip down to Florida to go out/dress shop. Now the out of country family was not present; about a week later when I hammered out the dates they were the first people I called. I decided to invite the older sister as well.
She was interested when invited then never got back to me, back and forth emails, said she was checking flights and has not given me an answer either way. To be clear, I have not been pressuring her, I know it’s expensive and she very well may have better things to spend money on or may not want to come at all. In the mean time, everyone else has booked their flights and it is a long weekend so all of the hotels in the area are full. I’ve been holding a bedroom for this girl and feel I cannot give it to someone else because technically she was invited first so I feel like she was promised somewhere to sleep. But I also feel like she is being rude and should just give a yes or no answer seeing as how the trip is in 2 months and she has had plenty time to think.
Is it rude to give the bedroom to a girl who is definitely coming and letting the older sister sleep on an air mattress?
Post # 3
@kapalua67: Most hotels can provide rollaway cots, so no one need be on an air mattress on the floor.
You didn’t explain the room arrangements, but as far as I am concerned, I would do first come, first served.
Post # 4
@kapalua67: I would simply email her and say, “I’ve been holding a bedroom for you, but due to time constraints and the need to work out accomodations for other guests, I will need a definite answer from you by the end of this week. If you need more than a week, I totally understand, and will have an air mattress available for you if needed.”
ETA: but I’m on the “stop contacting her” side after this.
Post # 5
If there’s still some sort of acomodation for her (ie the air mattress) I would give it away. Unless you’ve specifically promised her a bedroom, in which case I would just drop her an FYI email saying “really hope you can make it, we’ve still got accomodation/ an air mattress for you, the bedroom is full with confirmed guests, hope that works for you.”
If she doesn’t respond, I would drop it all together and assume she’s not coming.
Post # 6
We’re not in hotels, we have two houses that everyone will be in. There aren’t enough bedrooms but we do have an air mattress. I mean it’s not awful, it’s high off the ground and queen sized. But I feel like whoever gets the air mattress instead of a room will feel like they got the shaft..
Post # 7
Thats sort of what I did the other day. Told her that I wasn’t trying to be pushy but I hadn’t heard back from her and the hotels in the area are full (literally, I called) due to the long weekend. I haven’t gotten a response so I’m sort of done with the whole situation. I feel kind of bad about it, but I guess I’ll just assume she’s going to be a no show!
Post # 8
Ok, then I would completely let it go. It sounds like you’ve gone out of your way to keep her informed, if she can’t be bothered to return an email at this point, give the space to confirmed guests as needed.
Post # 9
Don’t feel bad about it. You reached out and did your part. You’ve been generous with your space and time. Offer the room to the person who has actually committed to attending your weding.