Post # 1
We’re inviting about 120 people to our wedding. What’s the typical protocol for the shower guest list? Only people I’m very close to? What about the groom’s family? We’re inviting groom’s mom and her three close friends, but what about aunts and cousins? I know it’s probably a personal choice, but I’m curious to hear what people typically do and who it might be strange to invite.
Post # 3
I can only comment on what my mother did. She invited any female that was invited to the wedding. I guess it all depends on where the shower is taking place and how close you are to your guests but I would definitely only invite those that are invited to the wedding.
Post # 4
My Maid/Matron of Honor and my BM’s hosted my shower. I gave them a guest list for my female relatives, close friends & a few of my Mom’s friends. I asked my mother-in-law to give my Maid/Matron of Honor a list of her female relatives and friends she wanted to invite. The guest list ended up being around 55 people, but I think only 40 rsvp-ed “yes”.
Post # 5
I know that the super-traditional way is all women invited to the wedding. We did all the female family members on both sides, for sure. There are some people though, co-workers, friend’s dates, etc, that were left off, I told my mother not to invite them.
Post # 6
I’m inviting most of the women invited to the wedding that I know. On FI’s side, there are a few mom’s of friends and parents friends on both sides I’m not inviting.
Best thing is to make sure you don’t invite people who aren’t invited to the wedding. Only in very small cultural circles would that be a good idea. I think if you are invited to a shower, you assume you are invited to the wedding.
Post # 7
I am inviting all of the ladies that are invited to the wedding, even the ones from out of town..they can come if they want.
Post # 8
My mom and sister invited almost all the women who were invited to the wedding (we invited about 100 total). I think we had about 30 attend – most everyone who was local attended.
Post # 9
We’re inviting all of the women from my family and FI’s family, all of my parents’ female friends, plus all of my female friends. The only female wedding guests who aren’t invited are some of the wives of FI’s friends who I don’t know very well at all. I think it would kind of be awkward if they were at the shower, since we really don’t know each other at all. Plus I kind of feel like it’s not fair to make those women ooh and aaah over me and give me fancy kitchen gifts, since we don’t actually know each other.
Oh, and I should also say that we’re not inviting anyone from really far away unless they are close family members. Clearly my friends in Japan and Singapore wouldn’t make it anyways, so they are not invited to the shower either.
Post # 10
i think it just depends on what type of shower atmosphere you want. sometimes people only have it be like 10 very close people. we ended up with 50. there are my close friends, my aunts and close cousins, grandma, mother & her close friends. same thing for the groom’s side. neither mom has an easy time keeping the guest list low so a 50 person shower seems like a lot to me, but hey i’m not planning it so i’m just going with the flow here.
Post # 11
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
We are not inviting all the women who are invited to the wedding – just all the female relatives in my family, my fiance’s close female relatives and possibly, possibly a couple of my friends – 30 invites going out. We’re keeping it intimate, it’s what works for us!
Post # 12
I should note that even though all the ladies invited to the wedding were invited to the shower our end result was about 30 women. A perfect size to make it more intimate.
Post # 13
The Basics of Bridal Shower Etiquette
The link explains who I think should be invited (close friends/fam), but obviously people do different stuff in different areas. So whatever works for you!