Post # 1
I’ll be 40 and on my second wedding with two children. Dad walked me down the aisle the first time and I guess it just seems weird to me that he’d do it again (at my age). Fiance is only 29 and wants a “regular” traditional wedding so we’re pretty much going all out.
To compromise, I would like my 13-yo son to walk me down the aisle and he would like to. Is this considered okay? I know everyone says “Do what you want” but I posted this on another site and got a pretty rude remark which consisted of, “Your dad wouldn’t give you away because you don’t belong to him anymore and your son wouldn’t walk you down the aisle/give you away because you don’t belong to him either.” Well first off, I don’t belong to anyone, nor did I ever.
Anywho … my daughter will be my Maid/Matron of Honor and I would really like my son to walk me down the aisle, plus he will be the last of five groomsmen for my Fiance. Thoughts? Most of the comments on the other board were that I should walk down by myself or walk down with Fiance.
Post # 3
My mothers sperm donor (my father) isn’t in my life so I’m having my younger brother walk me down the aisle.
Post # 4
I love the idea of your son walking you, especially since your daughter is Maid/Matron of Honor. Just because you walk down the aisle with someone does not mean that the person is “giving you away.” I think that’s a really outdated concept, at least to many of us out here. Your choice to walk with your son would just be a really lovely and meaningful way of involving him in the wedding.
EDIT: P.S. – I also don’t think having your son walk you will detract from your FI’s “traditional” wedding experience. You’ll still be walking down the aisle toward him!
Post # 5
I should have scrolled down – I just saw another thread with this very topic.
I’m not sure why I’m so torn on this. I’m not going for traditional at all but my family is VERY traditional and I’m already hearing whispers and taunts about not wearing white, not having any showers, etc., etc. With it being FI’s first, he really wants the full blown wedding experience and I’m going to give it to him (but I am wearing ivory, just to keep both sides happy, plus at 40 YO, white and I don’t agree).
Since my daughter will already be my Maid/Matron of Honor, I think it would be “neat” to have my son walk me down and then join the other groomsmen. I don’t intend to use the traditional wording of “who gives this woman….” blah blah … I just want him to walk me down the aisle, take his place and then the wedding will go on. Is that poor etiquette?
Post # 6
I think its a great idea….
Post # 7
No, it’s not poor etiquette! At least not in my opinion. 🙂 Your reasoning completely makes sense to me, and honestly, I think having your son walk you will make for a really beautiful scene.
I attended 2 weddings this summer (plus my own!), all traditional (in the sense that the bride wore white, was walked down the aisle, etc.) and the officiant did NOT say “who gives this woman…” at any of them. I really think this language is being phased out–or at least it is in my region.
Post # 8
My son is also walking me down the asile. Most people that know us think it is really cool and very fitting. Other people on different websites say it is creepy or odd.
All together I think that if any person should have a say in who I marry I think it is him. He is so excited for this job and he feels so proud of the factor that he gets to walk me down the aisle. I am sure you son would feel honored too.
I think if you are having your daughter be you Maid/Matron of Honor then having your son walk you down the aisle gives him and equally important wedding job.
Post # 9
I think you should walk down the aisle with your son. I think its a great idea and if you feel comfortable with it, then you should do it! I totally agree with your reasoning! Every family is different and so each has to do what is best for them!
Post # 10
I’m also an encore bride and my 14 year old son will be “escorting” me down the aisle. Since he’s my oldest child and a young adult I thought it fitting since there will be a new man of the house so to speak and he’s super excited to do it. I think you’re son will feel very honored to have such a responsibility at the wedding as well.
Post # 11
My daughter (who will be 9) will be walking me down the aisle. I have had some visions of having the minister say the “traditional” spiel about “who gives this woman…” and having Dirty Delete say, “I’ll share her.” We’ll see if it’ll actually happen. . . doubtful.
I think you’re totally on the right track having you son escort you and I absolutly see nothing wrong with it. You don’t list the ages of your children, but it’s possible that they are still at home. If that’s the case that I think it’s even more appropriate, you’re creating a family, not just a marriage.
Post # 12
I also think it is very special that your son walk you down the aisle. I say go for it 🙂
Post # 13
@milesbella: I’ve had alot of the same issues. This is my third wedding/marriage and Fiance second marriage/1st wedding so for him I’m going all out. I want alot of the traditional aspects for him but we’re not a very traditional couple and neither our relationship been. I’m wearing a black dress and he’s super excited about it. Will other people have strong feelings about it? Yes I’m sure but he’s happy so I really could care less about what anyone else thinks. The ceremony should reflect you and your Fiance and whatever works for you all is what you should do. All the other married couples have had their day and this is yours. The singles just need to get to where you are
Post # 14
I’m had my little brother walk me down the aisle. I couldn’t have picked a better person. My Dad and I haven’t talked since I was 16, and my step father and I don’t have that father daughter relationship SO my brother it was!
Post # 15
@Linds1769 – Beautiful, wow that really choked me up SEEING it.
My son will be 14 – my daughter will be 12 – and they both really want to be involved. I just hate feeling like I’m stepping on toes (my parents). My parents are in their late 70’s and are VERY old fashioned. I’m the youngest of 7 and have had several siblings divorce and get married again and the family tone has always been – “you had your first wedding” almost as if the second one was something to be ashamed of. I’m not ashamed at all – I have truly found the man of my dreams and he is all I could have ever asked for for me and my children. I guess I just someone turn into that little kid again when I feel like I’m doing something against how my parents feel it should be done.
Post # 16
My wife and I walked down the aisle together. If you want your son to escort you, that is a beautiful idea! In my mind, the whole concept of a father “giving you away” is completely outdated anyway. And your son is perfectly fine as an escort.