(Closed) Who is writing your ceremony?

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
  • poll: Who wrote/will write/is writing your ceremony? (vows and readings excluded)
    We are religious, and wrote our own ceremony : (5 votes)
    10 %
    We are non religious, and wrote our own ceremony : (20 votes)
    41 %
    We are religious, and wrote part of our ceremony (except vows), but someone else wrote the rest : (1 votes)
    2 %
    We are non religious, and wrote part of our ceremony (except vows), but someone else wrote the rest : (7 votes)
    14 %
    We are religious, and didn't write any of our ceremony (vows excluded) : (5 votes)
    10 %
    We are non religious, and didn't write any of our ceremony (vows excluded) : (6 votes)
    12 %
    We are religious, and our religion requires us to use a liturgical/prewritten/standard service : (2 votes)
    4 %
    Other, and I'll give you the gory details below : (3 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    4385 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    The Anglican church us writing ours ๐Ÿ™‚ We will pick readings, but that’s it!

    Post # 4
    2496 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    Fiance and I are Christians (Presbyterian in particular) and our pastor is doing his own thing, but we’re writing our own vows and picking our readings.  Other than that, there’s not much to “write” I guess.  In our church, prayers are not pre-written, and we both love to hear our pastor speak, so we would rather him write that himself anyway.

    I always interpreted “writing the ceremony” as vows, but maybe other couples write more?  Interesting thread!  I’d love to hear more too!

    Post # 5
    548 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    We’re religious and we’re writing a ceremony, with lots of help from the priest and rabbi. I’m a practicing Catholic, and Fiance is non-practicing Jewish. We can’t have a Catholic mass, and we’re not going to do a traditional Jewish ceremony either, so we’re creating an interfaith ceremony.

    Post # 7
    3 posts

    you can choose your venue, music and colours, but can you choose your ceremony writer or creator?  this is a great question/survey because some couples would not even consider ceremony writing as an option to be decided or selectively chosen. 

    i suggest a couple considers, researches and determines their ceremony desires AND requirements from various perspectives, including the personal, communal, legal and spiritual.  as a not-necessarily-religious officiant, i welcome couples who simply agree to/want to contribute to their ceremony text, let alone write the entire thing.  however, sometimes, couples are bound to the content or a particular sequence of events in a ceremony, dependent upon which faith one adheres to… at the same time, there are legal prerequisites, depending on where one lives.  some couples have already been married in a civil ceremonoy (i.e. ‘at the courthouse’) so anything goes with regard to their wedding celebration. 

    don’t forget to consider writing style and content: if you are creating a text to be read or performed by another person, think about what would be comfourtable or appropriate to be coming out of his/her mouth.




    Post # 8
    14494 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I put in that we wrote the ceremony, but actually the FH did the whole thing himself with some tweeking from me.  I am really the religous one of us and he incorporated all the readings and prayers that I wanted.  We did use the “Hand Ceremony” in our ceremony but we almost completely changed it to reflect us.

    Our ceremony is religous while being non-denomination.  We are having a priest do the ceremony (very dear old friend since before he was a priest) as we are legally married, and this is our marriage before God.  I am not catholic but he is considering it a marriage blessing instead of a wedding so he isn’t breaking church doctrins, but to us it’s our wedding.

    Post # 10
    7695 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    We were married by a friend who got ordained online and had no experience with wedding ceremonies. I wrote our ceremony in its entirety, but the vows and ring exchange were not original work – they were pieces taken from other ceremonies I found online. I was really pleased with the results!

    Post # 11
    459 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    We are not religious. Our officiant gave us a few sample ceremonies to look at, and we cut and pasted paragraphs from these different ceremonies together. So we did not write our ceremony, but we did choose what it would say.

    Post # 12
    232 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I wrote majority of the ceremony, but I plan on going over it with my officiant to see if any changes need to be made

    Post # 13
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    We’re Jewish, and the rabbi took care of the whole ceremony. Vows included. All I had to say was “I do.”

    Post # 14
    321 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    we had a mayor marry us, and we are non-religious.  he actually gave us a copy of his generic ceremony so we would know exactly what he planned to say, 7-8 minutes, bare basics, love and marriage yada yada…  but he also gave us the freedom to change anything about it, and was very accepting when we told him we didn’t want any religious stuff. 

    i hope your wedding goes great, but please try to get some specifics out of your officient about what he plans to do. at least make sure that he’s on the same page as you in regards to religious/non-religious ceremony!  good luck!

    Post # 15
    1553 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I voted other because we are having two ceremonies.  We have already had the first ceremony at city hall and we had nothing to do with the ceremony.  We just showed up and the mayor used the same ceremony he does for everyone…but it was actually a very nice little ceremony, so that was fine.

    Our “wedding” will be in the Catholic Church, so we will pick our readings and music, but don’t have much say over the ceremony itself, although I do think there are a few places where we have some options.

    Post # 16
    2111 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We did not have a religious wedding. I found different vows online and made our own out of a bunch of them. The ring exchange wording came from the guy who married us. He had some very casual wording that we liked. I found the wording for our hand fasting ceremony, and a couple readings to be read at the beginning and end of the ceremony.

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