(Closed) Who knows?

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
1760 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

The only one who knows we’re ttc is a friend/neighbor. She gives us all the advice we need mixed with the ‘bee. We already have her asking us if we’re pregnant yet… I can’t imagine having the rest of our friends and family asking. And we’re still only in cycle 1 (an unusually long cycle) but we’ve been talking about ttc since our June wedding so that friend has been in the loop since then. 

Post # 4
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

A few close friends knew that we were planning on TTC after the wedding, but I haven’t been very vocal about the process. It’s only cycle #1.

We didn’t tell anyone when we TTC last time. I didn’t and don’t want the added stress of people asking.

Post # 5
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

The only person Darling Husband and I have told is my aunt.  She is pretty much like a second mother to me, but she is the only person.  I agree with PP that I don’t think we could handle our family asking every month if we have succeeded yet. So we will keep it to ourselves.

Post # 6
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve only told you bees 🙂

I mentioned to a friend of ours that she should Sway for a boy next time (3 girls… First ultrasound for their last baby said boy – wrong!!)… So she might be suspicious given the TTC jargon “Sway”…

Darling Husband is pretty secretive about it so I’m sure he’s not telling anyone… He had 2 MCs with his previous fiancé so even if I do get pregnant we won’t be telling anyone until 16-20weeks unless they guess 🙂

Post # 7
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

We aren’t telling people for several reasons:

  1. Most of our friends are in couples or married but quite far off from being ready to TTC (their words, not mine). We have a very active social life with these couples and we are the first to plan a lot of outings and parties, and when we’ve talked about it in the past, I almost feel like they would be a little sad for us to have a baby now–like it would mess up some of the social stuff. That being said, I know if and when the time comes they will be thrilled, but for now most of my close girlfriends are no-where near this point in their lives and I feel like they would not be interested in hearing about TTC.
  2. Stress, like several other people mentioned! If this takes a while, I would rather go through this privately with my husband rather than for all to know.
  3. Family–his family is gunning for it and we would get bombarded with questions, advice, etc. And my family is NOT ready for us to be TTC (I am 27, Darling Husband is 28 and we have been married for over a year–but I think my parents still think of me as their “baby.”)

That being said, we do have one couple we are close with who live nearby and have 2 kids. I hung out with the mom and kids yesterday. She knows we are baby crazy but we initially thought next summer would be our time to TTC. Now that we bumped it up, I spilled the beans to her–one because I was asking so many questions about TTC and 2 I think it will be hlepful to have someone who’s been there to go to once we get going. Gahh I feel like I should tell Darling Husband I slipped to her!!

Post # 8
Member
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We haven’t told anyone. I know it can take a long time, and I don’t want to get my family’s hopes up (as strange as that may sound). I would rather they be pleasantly surprised when the time comes. Plus I don’t want people asking me all the time lol.

Post # 9
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I told my mom.  Since she’s been there and she knows how much I want this, I know she’ll be supportive when I inevitable get stressed out about TTC.  She’s also extremely eager for grandchildren, so she’s very happy to hear that we’re trying.

I also told a close female friend.  She’s the kind of person who I know can keep a secret and she’s really excited for me.  She’s also a coworker so it will be nice to have someone who is in on my secret.

I doubt anybody will really be surprised if I get pregnant, since I talk about wanting kids all the time.  I think my in-laws will be surprised, though.  I can’t wait until I can (hopefully) tell them the good news!

Post # 10
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

@Sigyn:  More than I would like. I regret letting all the people know… At a baby shower shortly after we were married, one of my best friends asked if we were trying right away in front of like 8 of our friends. I’m a horrible liar, so I told them yes. Soooo they all know. That and we had an m/c that we told our family about, so they all know. Now every time we go to a party, people ask how it’s going. How do you think it’s going? it’s been six f/ing months. Lol. It’s very awkward…. Especially when they give me their awkward advice, “It’ll happen when you stop trying!” “Just relax, don’t stress.”

Post # 11
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I wouldnt tell anyone. Just me and Darling Husband know and all the bees. I would never tell as I am pretty private person about personal stuff but also because I would hate people asking all the time and checking if I drank booze or not. 

I also have not told any of our families as they would (well my mom) massively stress me out over EVERYTHING. 

I would want to leave it as late as possible to tell everyone when/if we fall pregnant. 

 

 

Post # 12
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

For Darling Husband and I let his sister and my sister know years ago that we were not using any form of contreception. As for know that we have now started TTCing only a friend of mine here where I now live who is 13 weeks pregant herself knows. We are keeping quiet about it much like pp have said so we don’t get questioned.

 

Post # 13
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I am pregnant without TTC (surprise pregnancy), but if we ever tried for another I would absolutely not tell anybody.  If it didn’t happen quickly I wouldn’t want to deal with people asking about it (or speculating to themselves whether we were having problems TTC) or trying to catch me not drinking or otherwise acting pregnant.

I could see confiding in close friends or family if we had trouble TTC and wanted support, but to announce right off the bat that we were starting TTC?  No way.

Post # 16
Member
1431 posts
Bumble bee

We are keeping it a secret when we start trying. Except for the Bee I don’t think anyone will know. I have endo and if it takes awhile I don’t want people to be waiting, and asking each month.  So many people i know talk so openly when they start trying, but I guess maybe I would too if I had nothing to worry about. I do think keeping it a little secret is kinda fun too:)

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