Post # 1
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
This can be totally anonymous… you don’t have to comment but I’d love to see the votes as far as the "statistics" of gals in the hive!
If you do feel like commenting, do you think if your/his roles were reversed as far as income, would the dynamic in the household change, like as far as who does what chores, housework, cooks, etc?
Post # 3
Right now my husband makes more than me. However, I’m a post-doctoral researcher now. Once my post doc is finished and I get a ‘real job’ I will probably make almost twice as much as him. He doesn’t seem to care since we’re joint checkers all the way!
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
Ah, to answer my own question, I think that if the woman makes more money in the relationship, the man SHOULD do the majority of the housework! HELLO!
Sadly I couldn’t live by this if I were the one making more money (maybe I am, maybe im not… just trying to be anonymous here!). My inner wife still would (or does) feel like it’s my job to do all the "inside" housework. And since we don’t have a yard or anything (we live in a condo) that pretty much leaves "tidying up" and taking out the trash to Mr. Peng.
Also… I would never trust my husband to clean the bathroom. The toilets have to be so clean that you could eat off of them if you had to, and how can I trust him to make sure he gets all the crevices?
Plus, neither of us trust him to cook meals, so that’s not his fault. But sigh… being a working wife is hard work!!!
Post # 5
My husband makes more money than I as I have choosen a career that will never rake in the big bucks, but I love it. He has a cush federal gig, so I say he works less but gets paid much more!
I think we split up housework equally, though it may be slightly more weighted on his side. I work long, odd hours and he understands and pitches in even when it is my turn.
Post # 6
My husband will ALWAYS make more than me. Doesn’t matter that I’ll have a Ph.D. in biochem/biophysics… my husband is a radiologist. As in, after his fellowship and specialization, he’ll be easily pushing $300K.
If it was reversed, it would make a HUGE difference. Beause my husband makes the $$, he thinks he has the right to choose where we live (fortunately for me, I may very much dislike where he is moving, but at least there will be LOADS of job opportunities for me, which would not be the case in 95% of America). If I was raking in the big bucks, then I’d get to move wherever I want for my job… post-doc here, faculty there, etc. My husband will NOT be moving around the country, he is planning on staying in the same city where he is doing his residency, so it’s up to me to find jobs in that one area.
Post # 7
Oh, as far as housework, it almost all falls on me. I work 80-90 hours/week. He works 90-100. Thus because I have more "free time", the housework completely falls on me.
Post # 8
- Wedding: August 2008 - Vineyard on the Delta
dang, like i was telling you, i still don’t know yo! it IS tax time around the corner tho so i guess i’ll get back to ya!
Post # 9
It’s me…which is even more sad when you consider that I’m a teacher.
Post # 10
Up until recently, it was him (since I was in school) but now that I’m out with a real job and he’s sinking money into his own firm plus consulting, I’m actually making more (base), but only slightly. We’ll see what bonuses are like this year– I could pull ahead by quite a bit but I’m not expecting great things. He loves joking that I’m going to buy him a 1-series when I get that check, but I tell him the Audi S5 comes first. Both of us like that either one of us could support the household comfortably on a singe income; I think it takes a lot of stress off everyone that way.
As far as domestic duties go, I cook more often because I think it’s fun, and he’s neater than I am so he does more of the household cleaning. (Plus he has more time.) Luckily both of us grew up in the same general area so there’s no question about where we’re settling– we like it, jobs are decent, and when we have kids both sets of grandparents will be within an hour’s drive.
Post # 11
- Wedding: March 2009 - Byodo-In Temple, Luau Reception
I’m the main provider at the moment, but that’s really due to all the tax free entitlements I get (military). If I wasn’t in the military, can’t say I’d know who would be making more money.
Post # 12
We’re in the same range at the moment, but I admit I don’t know who will end up making more. We’re both going back to school at some point…a PhD in Computer Science for him and likely an MBA, but possibly PhD in Business for me. We are both planning on Top 5 schools if we can get ourselves in. A lot of it will probably depend on what we do with our degrees.
If we can time it right, one of us will be in school at a time so we won’t going from being highly paid DINKs to impoverished students in Boston. There will certainly be a disparity for those years! We’re joint accounters though, so it shouldn’t be an issue as to which one of us it is. We very much share responsibility now and I don’t expect that to change based on income. If one of us chose to stay home, yes, but otherwise no.
Post # 13
As of this years W-2, he makes about 4k more than I do…so we make pretty much the same amount. I work more hours usually, but he is also in school so he is gone a lot fo time too. We split houseowrk, whoever is available when it needs ot be done, does it.
We also have speerate bank accounts, and will continue to do so for the forseeable future, works better for us.
Post # 14
We make about the same. We do about the same around the house. It used to be he made alot more, but we were still even on the housework. I don’t think your salary should factor into who does more housework, unless one person works longer hours.
Post # 15
Very interesting post! I’m older than my husband so I’ve been working longer and make more right now, but my husband is a lot smarter than I am and has greater long term earning potential (also, he is just a lot more ambitious than I am). Also, even though I make more, I’m probably the bigger financial drain due to my school loans…he has almost no debt because he had a full scholarship.
Post # 16
I make about double what my fiancee makes. He calls me his sugar mama (but there ain’t that much sugar 🙂 But in about 4 years when he is done with his medical residency and becomes an actual orthopaedic surgeon, he’ll probably make triple what i make. I unfortunatley do 75% of the housework. I work about 60 hours a week and he probably works 90 so like julieulie I do most of it by default. I love the cooking part but LOATHE doing laundry.