(Closed) Who makes the peace in your relationship?

posted 11 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Who makes the peace in your relationship?
    I do : (10 votes)
    20 %
    My SO does : (17 votes)
    33 %
    Whoever is at fault for the argument is responsible for the first outreach : (11 votes)
    22 %
    Neither of us - we wait some time and things cool down : (2 votes)
    4 %
    Other (please explain) : (11 votes)
    22 %
  • Post # 17
    Member
    3331 posts
    Sugar bee

    I hate to say it, but it’s usually my husband who first tries to smooth things out after a disagreement.  He always apologizes, even if it’s something that I totally started.  I tend to be a little over-emotional at times, and he’s usually very calm and rational.  I guess we’re a good balance.

    Post # 18
    Member
    963 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2009 - Bernardo Winery

    I’m usually the one to extend the olive branch… I’ve tried to hold off and wait for him to do it but he takes longer so realize he’s being "mean" so I have to say something to get the resolution going. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    952 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    It’s usually my Fiance, but often if I’ve been snippy I will apologize.

    Post # 20
    Member
    2022 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Even though I start the majority of our fights, I usually extend the olive branch first, once I have made my point : )  Fiance is not bad at apologizing either, but he will not always say "I’m sorry" – he will just try to make me laugh and start hugging me or something.

    Post # 21
    Member
    155 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Before we got married, it was me. Almost all the time, even if i didn’t start the fight or disagreement. But now, he’s the one who appologizes first! I don’t know why we switched roles…

    HumarockBride: i do the same, even if it’s only a very small disagreement!… I try not to cry, but i always end up bursting in tears 🙁

    Post # 22
    Member
    1266 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Although were both horribly stubborn neither of is can stay mad at one another for very long. doesnt matter usually whos fault it is, one of us will give a goofy smile and things will be okay again

    Post # 23
    Member
    7172 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    Usually me.  Although, he knows when I am super miffed, and will extend the olive branch.  But that’s about 1% of the time!

    Post # 24
    Member
    1145 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2000

    I have to bring it up (or he will just go into his man cave/primitive ways of handling anger) and then we talk it out. At some point he may raise his voice and at some point I usually will cry.  He’s the one who can actually get the conversation past understanding and into ultimate resolution. So I’m the initiator and he’s the closer.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1015 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    He almost  never gets upset but if I get upset and he is part of the reason he will do whatever he can to make sure I’m not upset anymore!  And if I get upset all on my own (which happens although it makes me sound like a crazy loon) I talk it out with him and make it all better (in my head…which is where it all started in the first place).  We’re good at talking things out and hardly ever have disagreements and never fight.

    He has the patience of a saint. Innocent He’s going to need it.  Laughing

    Post # 26
    Member
    76 posts
    Worker bee

    Both of us make peace first depending on our current inclinations.

    Post # 27
    Member
    2856 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    Whomever started the quarrel isn’t required to be the first to make peace but that usually is what happens with us.

    Post # 28
    Member
    6593 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Our reconciliation is usually quite frustrating because I want to resolve and make it better right away and he wants cool down time – but that frustrates me because once he is cool he just thinks everything is better and doesn’t want to talk about it any more!

    But he is pretty good about compromising and talking it out with me after a short cool down period!

    Post # 29
    Member
    179 posts
    Blushing bee

    We’ve never had an argument or gotten snippy enough with each other to bring it up again. When we have issues, we discuss them, together, calmly and reach a compromise.

    Post # 30
    Member
    14181 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    It really depends on what we’re discussing. Usually one of us is either hormonal (aka me) or really stubborn (which can be both of us). Sometimes he says things that are hurtful and they come out wrong and vice versa, in which case whoever was hurtful on accident apologizes. He has told me that sometimes he just doesn’t want to get into a big debate so he backs off b/c I feel *very* strongly about certain things and he’s more apathetic. I win! J/k j/k. But seriously, why should either of us push a point just to push it?  

    I refuse to apologize just to apologize unless I mean it. I’m stubborn but I also refuse to get into the habit where I feel as though I’m being walked all over and he is the same way. And honestly, I don’t want him to just apologize to make me happy, b/c I know I’d be walking all over him for that one. It doesn’t work for me.

    Thankfully we’re both quite reasonable people and have *amazing* communication skills due to him being away more often than not

    Post # 31
    Member
    774 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2010

    It depends. Usually we will wait for the “person at fault”, but if neither of us thinks we’re at fault…well, that can be a long wait! So, some times (many times) we agree to disagree.

    The topic ‘Who makes the peace in your relationship?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors