(Closed) Who out there is dating a “Momma’s Boy”?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh man.  That’s intense.  My Fiance is a mama’s boy, but not to that extreme.  The reigns have been loosened since I came into the picture, too. 

Post # 4
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I have a mama’s boy too!!! Just keep at it, at he will stop relying on her so much.  It took me a couple years but I finally broke him right before he graduate college.  His mom didn’t want him to get a master’s in education because “nobody would hire him because they didn’t want to pay him more” which was the dumbest thing I EVER heard.  They want a more qualified, experienced teacher/coach.  Anyway, I won that battle and that is the only reason he got a job.  From them on, he realized maybe she wasn’t always right…

Post # 6
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@jen24au: As a teacher with a Fiance who is on his way to becoming an administrator, I can say that that’s actually a pretty common belief.  For some districts, it’s true, but not for all. 

Post # 7
Member
2580 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

It’s not always quite that extreme, but it’s definitely the case with my FI! Even though he is almost 27, she calls him everyday and FREAKS out if she can’t get ahold of him. Every time I see her number come up on my phone I just know she’s been calling him non-stop while he’s in a meeting or something. If I don’t pick up for some reason, she’d go so far as calling our other friends!

Other than that, I think she’s completely great and I love her, but it does get to be a little much at times!

Post # 8
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

My husband is a momma’s boy, which is pretty weird b/c his mom doesn’t encourage it. He calls her all the time and she knows everything about our lives. I figure there could be worse things though.

Post # 9
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I wish you luck! My husband is not a mama’s boy (thank God) but my ex totally was and it caused so many issues. It was like she was competing with me for his attention or something. Everything he did was colored by her viewpoint and if we made a decision she didn’t like we had to hide it. Ugh. I hope he grew out of it before the next girlfriend!

Post # 10
Member
1398 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@LaviniaRose2013: I bet being in a different city will help.  When my Fiance moved closer to me (and his job) before we got engaged (BIG STEP for him, even though it’s only like a 40 minute drive away from where he was, which was about 10 minutes from his parents haha), his mom kind of got it.  And since we’ve moved in together after we got engaged, she’s been a lot better too.  And I’m the same way, I love her dearly, but there were just a couple of things that were a bit too intense for me.  But on the other hand, it’s nice to be involved with a guy that cares about his family that much too, ya know?

Post # 11
Member
322 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You just described my life. My Fiance is a total mama’s boy! His mom has been known to take her spare key (for his house) and go in and just “tidy up” while he’s at work. The boy is 28 years old! And yet he sees nothing worng with this. I think she’s just trying to snoop around but that’s just my humble opinion.  It has been vocalized that when he moves into my house, she will not be getting a spare key.

Also, just last night I get a facebook message from her! –Backstory: His mom is the only parent that has a facebook account, neither of my parents do nor does his dad and she has been given explicit “no friending us or our friends” rules–My profile picture is a pic of the both of us at christmas and she writes “I saw your profile pic! What a handsome man your with!” And I thought, “What am I chopped liver?” She only talks about him and never mentions anything about us a couple even though we’ve dated for 6 years and have been engaged since July….

And lastly, she refers to him has “MY (insert name here)” It’s constantl

There are just so many examples of how his mother has yet to cut the apron strings!

Post # 12
Member
2702 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Don’t get me started. Fiance has to wear a suit everyday to work. His mother irons his shirts for him. Keep in mind that we have our own house. Once a week he drops his shirts off so she can iron them. She gets this strange pleasure ironing. Hey, as long as I don’t have to deal with it. I HATE ironing!

Also, she personalizes his meals. If there is going to be breading on chicken, she will make 4 with breading and 1 without. For him. Every time we go over, he expects a head rub from her. I yell at her for it. I learned that I will never spoil my child the way she did/does!

Post # 14
Member
452 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@tntrav44:  that’s interesting!  We are from totally different areas so maybe that’s what it is.   Cudos to you guys for being teachers, I could never do it!  What is your Fiance doing as far as becoming an administrator?  Mine wants to do that also in a couple years after we get married.

Post # 15
Member
3620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh. My. God. I’m glad I’m not the only one dealing with this…

Summer 2009, we bought our house. It is 3 floors and has all crank-out casement windows, so nothing that is compatible with a standard air conditioner. I had talked to my Mother-In-Law just telling her about the house and she was horrified that our bedroom didn’t have air conditioning. She showed up at our house un-announced to take measurements of our window so that she could have her husband make a fitting out of plexiglass to put an AC in… AFTER we told her that it was fine and that if we wanted to cool down, we’d go in the basement, that it wasn’t an urgent pressing need…

Then she mentioned to us that she noticed our back deck could use a new board on one of the stairs, and that her husband could come over and replace it for us – we told her no, said that we were perfectly capable of replacing a board ourselves, and that (holy hell let us settle into our house for a week or so) we’d take care of it. A few days later, my husband (then fiance) mentioned to me that his mom said she had stopped by to take measurements and figure out what size board we’d need – I asked when this happened, and turns out, she had popped in when we weren’t home to do it (and she knew we were not home), and when I called her out on it, she claimed that she had called both of our cell phones. I explained to her that if she called us (which she didn’t, neither of us had missed calls) and we didn’t answer, that we’d prefer she not just pop in – A) because it is our home and she needs to respect boundaries, and B) what if, god forbid, something happened while we werent’ home and she was injured on our property… two days later, I got home from work and the board was replaced on our deck… without permission.

After our wedding, we sat down and decided what our plans were going to be for the holidays – that while we of course wanted to see our families and divide the time equally, that we also wanted to start our own traditions as a family unit (just the two of us). Mother-In-Law guilt tripped him big time, telling him that “the holidays are special” to her and that she was so upset that we weren’t “doing things the way we ALWAYS” do them… that she “ALWAYS saw her children on Christmas morning…” well, your son wasn’t ALWAYS married with a house and two sides of the family to accommodate…

Last week, our basement flooded, and when chatting with my Mother-In-Law, I mentioned how I loved my new boots that I got because not a drop of water got into them while I was cleaning up. She asked about DH’s boots… which are older, but are still very nice. His feet got a little damp when standing in 6″ of water, but all in all, good. She called Darling Husband and asked him if he wanted her to buy him some new Sorel boots. He told her no, said his boots were fine, and that if he wanted new boots, he’d pick them out himself. Two days later, she texts him and says “I was buying new high heels for vacation and found a pair of Sorel boots that were your size and on clearance, when can I drop them off?” First of all, he had told her he didn’t want her to buy him boots. Second of all, the store she got them at doesn’t sell high heels, they’re outdoor footwear only… so she must think we’re idiots or something making that one up…

 I don’t wonder why he has issues thinking that people don’t think he can do anything for himself – even when he tells her no, she does it anyway!!!

Post # 16
Member
2548 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

As for your number 1) I agree, she really shouldn’t be checking his account at his age!

As for number 2) I agree with your Mother-In-Law, I would hate if my son didn’t put me as a contact! haha. I carried him for 9 months, gave birth to him, loved him unconditionally from the day he was born, and think as a mother we deserve a little favortism over wives. No offense. I totally allow my fiance to do ANYTHING for his mother, because I am one now, and know how important it is to keep those bonds. Sorry!

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