Who paid for the wedding?

posted 6 months ago in Venue
Post # 16
Member
512 posts
Busy bee

My first wedding, my parents paid. It was $4-5k including honeymoon.

Fiance and I are paying for this one ourselves.

Post # 17
Member
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Each set of parents gifted us $5000 – so $10,000 in gifts. Our wedding was $15,000 all up so we put in $5000 ourselves. A 3 way split. We had 60 guests. 

However, our rings cost us almost $10,000 and our honeymoon was another $8000 so getting married cost a lot more than that! 

Post # 18
Member
1385 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

We paid for the majority ourselves but our parents also gave us money. His gave us $10K and mine gave us $25K. 

Post # 19
Member
1979 posts
Buzzing bee

My parent’s paid. I know that’s pretty spoiled, but they knew that otherwise we would just elope or have a tiny wedding (both for financial reasons and because I didn’t want the fuss) and they really wanted to throw a big one. They had most of the control over the planning and guest list which I was happy with. The only thing I insisted on was that there be something with cheese melted on it on the menu tongue-out

Post # 20
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

Our parents and grandparents paid for our wedding the money we had saved up for our wedding went towards the down payment of our house 

Post # 21
Member
1149 posts
Bumble bee

Scale it down? Were you originally planning with expecting his parents would help too? You should initially only plan with what you can personally afford, then start scaling UP if and when parents offer to help.

 

Post # 22
Member
1045 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

We are paying for the entire thing. My mom bought my dress though. 

Post # 23
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

Our parents paid.  Wedding and part of our honeymoon were covered completely.  My husbands parents gave $15k, my dad/stepmom gave $20k, and my mom/stepdad gave $10k.  My husband’s parents also hosted the rehearsal dinner, and my mom and stepdad hosted our engagement party and my shower.  

We are incredibly lucky, and very spoiled to have such generous parents.  We were also very lucky in that each of our parents gave the money with no strings attached, and let us have complete control of the wedding.

Post # 24
Member
1570 posts
Bumble bee

When we started planning we were planning to pay for all of it and drew up the budget and vendor list with that assumption. Right before we started booking, his family offered a lump sum, which was basically the cost of the reception. Then when I started putting deposits down on vendors my family offered the same lump sum, so our budget is actually now less than we’ve been offered combined.

So now we aren’t paying for anything, and were able to extend +1s to all guests and be pretty free with our guest list. 

Post # 25
Member
1342 posts
Bumble bee

My fiance and I are covering about ~6k from savings and my parents are covering the remaining ~16k. Our wedding works out to 20k (if everyone shows up) and the honeymoon should be around 2k.

The reason my parents are spending so much is because they wanted a big event with loads of people and all the bells and whistles. If we were paying ourselves it would have been a park wedding with ~50 people there, no DJ, no alcohol, and very informal. With their contribution, they get to dictate part of the guest list and now we’ve got a park wedding with games and activities, 150 people invited, a DJ, and a semi open bar. So basically, a scaled up version of what we could afford on our own.

Post # 26
Member
249 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

In-laws: Flowers + Honeymoon

Me: Hair / makeup / accessories / other minor things

My parents: everything else

 

We are pretty young, and so appreciative of our parents’ gifts, we couldn’t have done it without them!

Post # 28
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee

almax :  I don’t think its the end of the world to ask for parental help.  Most parents are really excited about their children’s weddings.  As long as you are open to incorporating your parents ideas into your wedding, it should be fine.

Our parents are so excited about wedding planning, I’m actually having two weddings.  My FI’s family is Indian, and his mother wants a traditional hindu ceremony in India.  My mother has very strong feelings about having an American wedding here.  My parents are paying for the weddng here.  His parents are paying for the wedding there.  

Its been great having parental support and input.  Honestly, regardless of who was paying for the wedding, I would have wanted my mom’s imput.  That we can do something nicer with her help is fantastic!  I don’t mind compromising on aspects of the wedding to make her happy. 

I’ve given my mother-in-law full control over the Indian wedding.  I have absolutely no opinions, and sent my measurements for a sari of her choice.  I’m simply planning on showing up.  🙂

Once someone pays, they get a say.  As long as you are open to the opinions of your parents and inlaws, I dont see an issue.  My (American) wedding is 6 months away, and I have had zero issues with my parents.  In fact, I’ve simply gotten nicer stuff.  My mom has rejected almost every low budget option I’ve presented to her.  

 

Post # 29
Member
422 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

We have savings and will be paying ourselves. My mom did pay $1000 towards my dress which was a big surprise!

Post # 30
Member
9151 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

I’d accept whatever gift is offered graciously–it doesn’t matter if his family doesn’t match your family’s offer.

Just know sometimes parents offer money in exchange for control.  Mine didn’t but my in-laws took 100% control over the items they offered to pay for: so long as you know your parents well, you can guess which way they’ll go.

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