(Closed) Who pays? A couple debate.

posted 7 years ago in Money
  • poll: Who pays?

    Chris does

    Andrea does

    They split it evenly

  • Post # 48
    Member
    424 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    Chris should pay. He should just man up and pay for her air ticket. How embarrassing to fight about money in front of friends. 

    Post # 49
    Member
    2902 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    She should pay for herself. She doesn’t have to come, she accepted the invite. Sure it would be great for him to pay but it’s not the 40’s and they aren’t married. 

    Post # 50
    Member
    3696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    My ex-boyfriend had a cousin get married just a few weeks or months before we split.  One of the final reasons we split, I’d say.  It was on the East Coast, I had never met the couple, and he wanted me to come – I had no desire and no income (by the wedding I had a job, but not when invited, was laid off for a few months).  He wanted me to pay my airfare, and I suppose he could get him own room instead of staying with his parents and maybe we could spit it.

    Nope, I’ll stay home.  And I did!  He didn’t want me to come that bad!  He DROVE there with his family and they split lodging.  Definitely not husband material.

    So for your friends – he should pay, no question.  It’s his friend, she wouldn’t go if not for his invitation, he makes more – and he’s just being a cheap screw if he does’t offer to pay for her. If he was a decent guy they’d have the kind of relationship where she’d be happy to pay for dinners while they were there, not fight tit-for-tat about everything.

    Tell her to stay home and move her toothbrush out of his place while he’s gone.

    Post # 51
    Member
    1769 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I think he should pay her way, or, at the very least, her flight and they split the hotel.

    Or, if they’re both being stubborn, she stays home 🙂

    FWIW, if Fiance and I are invited to a wedding, whoever’s “side” it is pays (so, we went Out of Town for a wedding of his HS buddy – he paid for the hotel, gift, and drove. A college friend of mine got married earlier that summer and I paid for it all). We live together, but currently do not combine finances.

    Post # 52
    Member
    424 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    View original reply
    @canarydiamond:  +1 im very old fashioned too. May be because I am Asian and in our culture men pay for everything. Yes, everything. I remember back then when I was dating this guy, he took me on a weekend trip and paid for the hotel in DC for my birthday. When we got there, he expected me to pay for the transportation and dinner. Fine, I paid. But I said goodbye to him right after the trip. And no, I didnt let him touch me during the trip. Cheap men is nowhere in my book. Not like he cant afford it.

    Post # 53
    Member
    508 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Slightly confused by the options, I think Andrea should pay for her part (is that she pays, or split evenly?!).  However, if Chris has more cash and it is his friends, it would be nice if he paid for the hotel or something, but i don’t think he is obliged to.

     

     

    Post # 54
    Member
    3109 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2018

    @MrsPanda99:  i invites my SO to a cross country wedding shortly after we met. I paid airfare, he paid hotel & car. He makes a lot more than me and generally picks up the tab, though. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    2902 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    View original reply
    @goldfish2308:  So if he paid for transportation and dinner he would have got some?? Good to know how it works. 

    Post # 56
    Member
    2183 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011 - Florida Aquarium

    Before we joined finances, we would sort of split 50/50. He’d pay for the airfare, and I’d pay for the hotel. Meals and entry fees and stuff would be split by the day. 

    Man, I don’t miss those days. 

    In this case, I think I’m going against the grain and say that Andrea should pay for her airfare. It’s a trip that she wants to go on, even if her boyfriend invited her. It’s costly, and she should share in that since she’s choosing to go. 

    Post # 57
    Member
    11736 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think Chris pays. Before we were engaged/married/had joint finances, any time we’d fly to visit my family, I paid for DHs airfare even though he made more then me.

    Post # 58
    Member
    4045 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    She doesn’t have to go, so why should Chris pay for everything? I voted split evenly, but that isn’t quite my opinion – it should be split, but not necessarily evenly. Chris should ultimately pay more.

    I think Andrea should pay for her flight, then Chris can cover the hotel. Excursions, food, and whatnot I would probably split if Andrea desperately wanted to go do something that Chris wasn’t gung-ho about, but otherwise Chris should be footing most of it.

     

    Post # 59
    Member
    3419 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center

    The person who invites you pays

    Post # 60
    Member
    9950 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Add on…

    See that is the kicker I think a lot of Bees are forgetting here.

    IF this guy was to go solo he’d be paying out a lot of money on his own.

    Return Airfare – Hotel Room (same price whether he is 1 or 2 people) – Meals – Maybe a Car Rental (again same price for 1 or 2) – Wedding Gift

    So why in goodness sake would this girl who makes considerably less than the guy who is the PRIMARY INVITE (and friend of the person getting married) want to dish out oodles of money to go.

    In the end, Chris gets a waaaay better deal.

    1- He has someone to split all these aforementioned costs with (at 50/50 it’s highway robbery).  More so if he also expects her to chip in for the Wedding Gift (something he should be providing no matter what scenario is chosen)

    2- AND he has the opportunity to show off to his friends his “great GF”

    (we can assume a HUGE ego booster for him… “This is Andrea isn’t she great” vs him showing up alone.  Gives the impression that she is a great Girlfriend, and he is a great guy for bringing her along… and others assuming he invited her / paid for her perhaps… shows him to be successful in so many ways)

    3- AND he gets to not be alone and miss her by being away for the Wedding, but have her by his side all weekend, and we can only assume IN HIS BED

    (Remembering here that this couple is not Co-habitating, Engaged or Married… they are just Dating)

    Sorry, but I cannot get by the fact that this is HIS Friend who is getting married, and he makes a lot more than the Girlfriend who he’s asking to be his Guest… but he wants her to pay

    Makes no sense to me.

    If she buys into his “arrangement” she is most definitely being suckered.

    She wants to go, because she wants to be with him.  He wants her to go because he wants to share the cost (WHY ELSE ARE THEY FIGHTING ABOUT MONEY ???)

    Her actually being there with him is secondary, obviously.

    I’d rather stay home and dust… and as another Bee said, use the opportunity to “relocate my toothbrush”

    I honestly, cannot believe how many women here aren’t seeing this as a guy who is trying to take advantage of a woman.

     

    Post # 61
    Member
    424 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    View original reply
    @FauxBoho:  It’s not about the money, it’s about me feeling turned off by him asking. And if he had not asked me pay for it, I might just will. And the trip would be more fun. And yeah, I would give him some if he didn’t piss me off

    The topic ‘Who pays? A couple debate.’ is closed to new replies.

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