(Closed) Who pays at the engagement party

posted 6 years ago in Parties
  • poll: Who pays?

    Host/hostess

    Guest

  • Post # 2
    Member
    8683 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Uhhh, the host.

    Post # 3
    Member
    15136 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    If you “host” any event, its expected you cover the cost.  If you aren’t paying for it, you should include an indication on the invite that guests are expected to pay so that they aren’t suprised when the bill comes.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2871 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    View original reply
    MrsAlvey: decline. That’s a surprise at an engagement party indeed. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    11517 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2014

    View original reply
    MrsAlvey:  I think it would depend on how the invitation was worded

    ‘A bunch of us are going out to celebrate John & Julie’s engagement on Friday at Restaurant’ – I would expect to pay

    ‘We’re throwing a surprise engagement party for John & Julie at restaurant’ – I wouldn’t be expecting to pay (but also probably wouldn’t expect a full meal)

    Post # 7
    Member
    15136 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    View original reply
    MrsAlvey:  If you have to cover your own bill, I assume that means only for yourselves, and they aren’t splitting their choice of bill with the guests?  If it’s the latter, I’d decline, I’ve never spent that much on a dinner on ourselves, and don’t intend to start with someone elses party and then be expected to get them an engagement gift and wedding gift later too.  If it means I cover my own plate, I may opt to get something smaller just to be there for the party.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1403 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Yeah, that’s bizarre and not what I’d call “hosting.”

    Post # 11
    Member
    1039 posts
    Bumble bee

    If you host a party, you foot the entire bill. I’ve never heard of inviting people to a party and charging them. That sounds odd..and tacky.

    Post # 13
    Member
    15136 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    View original reply
    MrsAlvey:  That’s damn rude of the’host’ to tell you that after you accept.  If I wanted to be there, I’d go and I would just make sure I don’t get suckered into splitting a huge bill if I were trying to keep mine down.  This crap happens to me *all* the time cause DH and I are not big eaters, we never finish a dish and usally share one + app while other people are each ordering a dish, app and drinkks.  We always make sure to either get our bill separate when the waiter takes our order, or when the bill comes, I take a look at it, do mental math (or just remeber from ordering) and then tell whoever ends up squaring away the bill “here’s our share since we only had one meal/didn’t order much/whatever you choose to say” and end it at that, then let everyone else square it away.  Getting your own separate bil is usually just easist though. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    115 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2008

    The host should pay, but sometimes people are clueless.  This happened to me when the bride threw her own engagement party and expected us to pay for our own plates.  The bride was important to me and as I bridemaid I was ‘expected’ to attend.  So I went and paid for my plate and DH’s plate.  However, I did not bring a card or gift.  My presense was your present.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1117 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    For a party like that I would expect the host to pay. For a more casual, drop-in type party I generally expect to pay for myself. 

    The topic ‘Who pays at the engagement party’ is closed to new replies.

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