Post # 16
jannigirl : Yes, he makes more, and yes we put in the same percentage in the joint account so yes, he does have more fun money than me. That was his argument for paying them himself, that he had more money (take home) than me.
Daisy_Mae : And your argument is exactly what my friends are saying, that I am benefiting from his career as we do have a bigger house and live in a (subjectively) nicer area than most of my friends. It’s honestly not something I thought about that much until they brought it up.
Post # 17
I think it really depends. When we first got married, I didn’t have loans and Darling Husband has some from undergrad. He insisted on paying the remained of those on his own, from his own account. When he went back to grad school about 2 years ago (on his last semester!), it was a joint decision and we decided together how much to take out in loans, so we are paying them from our joint income/savings.
Post # 18
We currently have talked about this, but it is my assumption that we will tackle any and all debt together. However, we’ve gone to college together, and will have about the same amount of loans by the time we’re done.
My husband will also likely be making more than twice what I will be making, and while I could pay off my loans easily by myself, it doesn’t make any sense to pay more in interest when I could pay it off a lot quicker with his help. Plus, all the money that comes in will be our money, not his/hers.
Your way of doing things isn’t wrong though. I can totally understand where a decision that he made prior to meeting you should not affect your current finances and that you have no obligations to paying off his loans. As long as it works for you, who cares what anyone else thinks?
Post # 19
If your husband suggested it and is fine with it, then it’s none of your friends’ business what you do with your money (individual or collective).
I pay my student loans myself. When I was a Stay-At-Home Mom with my son, my husband paid almost all of our bills (there were some that I continued to pay myself but I can’t remember which ones).
That said- if it never really occurred to you that you live in a nicer house/nicer neighborhood than your friends thanks to the job your husband has (and the associated loans he has), then maybe it’s a good thing that this line of thinking has been brought to your awareness.
Post # 20
sunnierdaysahead2 : I don’t get your friends ‘ view. Doctors can make good money. Plus med school is expensive. I know that if I was in your place that my “fun money” or really what’s leftover account wouldnt come close to covering med school monthly payments. Tell them to mind their business.
Post # 21
Ours were paid off being deducted straight from our income, so the money never actually went into the account. But it makes sense (if you both have separate accounts) to pay from your own. Who gives a crap what your friends think – people outside your relationship aren’t in any position to make judgement on your financial positions and decisions.
Post # 22
Our money is all combined and DH’s student loan pulls from it automatically every month.
Post # 23
I will say that it would NOT go over well with me that he had more discretionary or “fun” money. That would be a personal dealbreaker for me and is not my idea of a partnership or marriage. Is that still the case even after the loan payment? If not, I can see his point in trying to make things more fair.
You may be bringing in different incomes, but I would hope you know you bring far more to the table than money.
Post # 24
weddingmaven : No, with the loan payment he still has a bit more “fun” money. He’s very generous and will many times pay for things that I normally would pay for out of “my” money.
Post # 25
sunnierdaysahead2 : I don’t think you’re being selfish. He picked the career. BUT, since it does benefit you, I think if can afford to contribute -some- money to his student debt, say 10% of your income, I think that is more than reasonable as long as it is going towards his student loan and is helping the both of you in the long run 🙂
Post # 26
sunnierdaysahead2 : I agree that it is none of your friends business on how you and your husband handle your finances. It’s even more rude that they had something negative to say about it!
My SO and I currently pay our own separately; however, if there ever came a time where one of us significantly out-earned the other, we’d either help pay the other’s student loans or take on more financial responsibility to lift the burden from the lesser earned.
Post # 27
sunnierdaysahead2 : My parents helped me pay off my moderate amount of student loans after law school. My husband pays his loans out of his own account. We also have his, hers, and our account. The his and her accounts we both respectively had prior to marriage and just kept the same. The joint account we created when we got engaged for wedding expenses and then kept to pay mortgage, car loan, utilities, etc.
We never affirmatively made the decision, OK you will be paying your loans out of your own account. Obviously he used his own account to pay his loans before we got married and he just never saw the need or the want to change it.
As for your friends’ opinions…how rude! Not their circus, not their monkeys!
Post # 28
I married him, student loans and all. We pay our bills jointly, and that includes student loans. Mine were much smaller and are paid off. His are much larger (law school) and will take time, but I benefit from his salary, so I should help pay his loans. We’re married and that means sharing everything, even the debt.
Post # 29
- Wedding: March 2021 - Kauai, HI
I have a small student loan and medium size student loan that I’ve been paying for long before I met my SO. If we were to marry or combine finances I would expect to continue to pay those myself as we make similar incomes . My SO has no debt and he deserves to enjoy that.
That being said, if he wanted to make paying off that debt OUR mission, I would accept the help to save on the interest which benefits us both. But I wouldn’t expect that.
what works for both of you is what’s right. Ignore the haters 🙂
Post # 30
- Wedding: January 2021 - City, State
I’m the UK the money comes straight off your pay once you earn a certain amount, you can call up and pay it off. I know one person who’s done this, it’s not common