Post # 1
I’m really baffled over this. My fiance and I are working with a budget. I would love to pay for my bridal party dresses & shoes. But I have 3 BM’s dresses at $200-$250 ea. And 2 flowergirls dresses at $168-$178 ea. Both his mother and my mother dresses and shoes. ( Because I want them to look nice and they’re on budgets too. )
This is more than I can afford. Our wedding isn’t until next year. This gives me time to save for everything. But as it is, I don’t have a job yet. We’re moving to a new town next month. I have the style and shoes picked out. I’ve heard from others in the past that many BM’s don’t want to pay for dresses or shoes they don’t like.
I am hoping this won’t be the case. I have not told them anything yet because I want to calculate everything down to the penny. So I’d know exactly what I can and cannot do … besides my fiance and I both don’t want to invest too much in this. It’s a second wedding for both of us…
Therefore should I pay for everything or ask my BM’s to help by paying for their dresses & shoes?
Any ideas, suggestions will be greatly appreciated. Thank you …
Post # 3
Normally the bridesmaids pay for their dresses, shoes, etc. Your bridesmaids would help pay for your shower and bachlorette party as well. Normally the bride gets the bridesmaids a present as a thank you for being in the wedding. As a present for my girls, since I don’t want to get them something they will never use, I am going to help pay for their hair and bought them both their jewelry to wear. You can really do whatever is in your budget to do to help them out. I would suggest having them be responsible for their attire, but maybe as a gift get their jewelry or shoes or hair/makeup. That way you are doing something practical for them and you feel like you are helping a little bit.
Post # 4
Usually the Bridesmaid or Best Man pays for her own dress and shoes. In my experience, $250-300 is pretty steep for a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress. I’ve bought and worn Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses that I didn’t like before, and sense their price was around $100 I didn’t complain.
Post # 5
Eh, well my BMs are paying for their stuff, my the dress i picked it totally wearable again…i’m sure every bride thinks that, tho
i think if your budget is tight, thats one thing you can have them pay for on their own, and would help you not stress too much ab the budget. but if you have them pay for it, you may want to consider letting them pick their own dress – maybe picking a color and letting them pick a style?
Post # 6
I have 5 BM’s and there’s no way I could afford to buy their dress, shoes, etc. They offered to pay for everything because they know how difficult it would be on me and the Fiance. The parents’ of the flower girls and ring bearer are also buying their attire as well. I think its totally up to you, if you can afford it, go for it…
Post # 7
I would agree that the bridesmaids generally pay for their own. I think it’s nice if the bride can help, but in most cases not expected. However, I would feel like 250 is a lot to pay for a bridesmaid dress. Especially if you guys are working with a pretty tight budget. If I had to pay that much for a dress, then I definitely would want to be able to wear it again and really love it.
Also, I am not having flower girls so I don’t know much about the prices of those dresses but that seems like a crazy amount to pay for a childs dress.
Post # 8
Post # 9
Generally the bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, but the bride chooses dresses that are a bit more affordable. If she wants something that is out of the realm of comfortable pricing (for my girls, that’d be anything over $150) she generally should pay for at least part of each girl’s dress. You’ll get a lot of different opinions on this, but just remember that there are many, many options out there, and more and more Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses are coming from non-wedding related stores.
As for the MOB/MOG, I’ve never heard of the bride assigning them dresses, and I’ve never heard of the bride paying for their dresses.
Post # 10
I second lilyfaith in that MOB/MOG dresses not really have to be picked by the bride. They should probably just compliment the wedding colors but you don’t want to be too matchy and then they might look almost like a bridesmaid. Since they can really pick whatever dress they want I would think MOB/MOG pay their own.
Post # 11
As far as I’ve understood, bridesmaids pay for their own attire. I am expected to buy mine in the weddings I’ll be in soon. It would be nice to take into account what the bridesmaids can actually afford to buy and/or give them enough notice to save up.
Post # 12
Everyone thank you very much for the advice and suggestions. I did plan on getting their jewelry as gifts. And help with the shoes if I can. My first wedding two decades ago. I ASKED the BM’s if they like the dresses and it was mixed reviews. One even dropped out and she was my best friend then. It turned out to be a fiasco. I end choosing different dresses.
So I didn’t want to make the same mistake again. This time, I think if any of the three girls don’t like the dresses. I would have them removed from the bridal party. I’m not replacing people. I refused to get un-necessarily stressed out this time.
My state of mind now is keep it nice and simple. I can’t give them choices some people don’t know what they want … and for others its too difficult to make a choice.
I may offer them professional hair & make-up service ( if it’s in my budget I would pay ). But these girls, I feel would like to do their own hair & make-up.
Thanks again everyone…
Post # 13
Oh, and the dresses are wearable again. They are not gowns… the shoes would be dyable because it’s Royal Blue and there is different shades of blue.
MOB/MOG dresses is something I wanted to do for them. I didn’t assign dresses to either. They would pick what they want. I just want things to go nice and smoothly. Neither my fiance or myself have fathers in lives, so I wanted to do this our mothers as a gift from me.
But I’m sure they wouldn’t mind paying. The flowergirls are my fiance daughters. He may even pay for that. Since I don’t have any kids I wanted to help. Again, these are my ideas… I have not set anything in place yet. I just have a vision of what I would want our special day to be like …
Thanks again … I will take all advice and suggestion into consideration.
Post # 14
for me, i pay for the dresses when i am a Bridesmaid or Best Man – its part of accepting the job, but anything over $150 for something someone is making me pay is kinda steep. Jsually unless the bride is paying for the dress she asks what we would like and asks for imput and price ranges we can afford before picking the gowns. I would suggest putting some $$ towards the dresses to subsidize as their gift. i know if i was a bm and had to buy a 200-250 dress i would love some $$ to help out with it.
also know that if you are gonna have the girls pay that much for the dress, know that they might not spend as much on other things like bachelorettes, shower gifts or things of that nature (most of my friends budget to be IN weddings too – fyi i have $1000 to spend on my friends out of town wedding…)
caveat to say if you have friends that are more established, older, well-to-do, etc – then i wouldnt be as put out with buying a more expensive dress.
Post # 15
I would expect to pay for my own dress as a bridesmaid, but that said, I would also expect that the bride would try to keep costs down for the bridesmaids by finding options that don’t cost a fortune. I’m in a wedding and our dresses are costing us each $250 plus we have to pay for our own hair and shoes and I’m pretty frustrated that I have to pay a few hundred dollars for something I will never ever wear again. (Huge poofy floor length wedding gown styled bridesmaid dress) oh and also try to consider costs of alterations too, because for us we will all have to get the dress shortened because it’s such a long gown and because there are so many layers in the bottom of the dress I’m not looking forward to getting the bill for that either.
But as long as you can keep costs down then the bridesmaids should have no problem with paying for their own dresses:)
Post # 16
If it is in your budget you can, as their gift, if not traditionally they do… just be sensitive to their financial states when picking a dress, they can be from forever 21 for like less than $39 or from Vera Wang for up to $600