Post # 1
So now that we are on the planning ball…
We decided on a wedding ceremony on the beach on Sanibel Island with max 30 guests. Dinner afterward at a local restaurant.
These are all family, maybe a few friends, very casual and comfortable. I thought that since we have invited everyone to the Destination Wedding that we would automatically cover the dinner…in lieu of a reception. Fiancee says no. I told him to call his mother. (haha! hoping she would be on my side!) She says no, but to go with whatever I say. (love her already.) I call my Dad, he says Yes, we pay for it. Fiance says “they are getting a vacation out of it” HELLO?? They are PAYING for airline, hotels, etc! We are having a wedding WEEK, and everyone lives in either Kentucky, Indiana,..some in DC. I think since we are not having big florist action, expensive Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, huge venue $$, we should pay for dinner, geez!
Anyone? I’m ok with not paying for it, I just thought it would seem inconsiderate after guests travel expenses.
Post # 3
Uh…I would most definitely pay for dinner.
Post # 4
The host and hostess pay for dinner. You are the host and hostess- nuff said.
Post # 5
God, I would be pissed if I travelled for a wedding and didn’t even get dinner out of it. Some people may be getting a vacay out of it, but it wasn’t one that they necessarily chose, they went along with it so they could attend your wedding. I wouldn’t short change your guests by not even treating them to dinner. Give this thread a day or two and show it to your Fiance, I’m with you on this one and I’m sure most Bees will be too! 🙂
Post # 6
Yes, I say you pay. If it comes directly following the ceremony, I consider it to be a reception.
Good luck with it! Sounds like it’ll be fabulous!
Post # 7
Yeah, I think paying for dinner would be expected. The dinner is the reception, IMO, and therefore would be treated similarly.
Post # 8
If it were my wedding, I would pay for the dinner for the guests. You’re right, it is like a reception.
Post # 9
It is still a wedding reception even if your just going to dinner. With that said you are responisble for paying for the dinner for everyone. I would think that your guest would be very upset after having to pay to get there and stay there they not even get treated for one meal.
Post # 10
I have never attended a wedding and had to pay for dinner, regardless of whether I had to travel for the wedding. The dinner is like a thank-you to your guests for sharing in your day with you! I really think your fiance and his mom are wrong on this one.
Post # 11
I love being right! Super fast responses! Thanks everyone!! I knew I could come here and get the answers! I would also be a little put off if I traveled hundreds of miles and didn’t get a dang dinner! Sheesh.
Post # 12
Yeah, especially for an out of town wedding you should treat your guests that are traveling for you. I went to a small local wedding where everyone paid for their own meal at a local bar and grill, and it was fine, but if it had been a destination wedding that would be kind of rude considering what the guests are expected to pay for.
Post # 13
you are totally right–and he is wrong!
Post # 14
@MississippiQueen: Haha show this thread to him. 🙂 In the process of planning my wedding, I asked so many questions DH and I disagreed about on these forums, and then I would show him the results! 😉
Post # 15
If I carted my ass to a Destination Wedding and was made to pay for my own reception meal, I would be appalled. You absolutely MUST pay for everything associated with your wedding. You’ve asked your guests to make a major financial commitment, the least you can do is feed them.
Post # 16
He’s caved. He is now on the phone with his Mom and they are like “OUR BAD”! So we’re paying. Geez, it’s dinner!