(Closed) who pays for the bm dresses?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1095 posts
Bumble bee

It depends. My girls paid for their own dresses, but I am paying for alterations and for their day of hair and makeup.

Post # 4
Member
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I origianally paid for them to get them ordered, and then they paid me back. Well, half of them have, I’m still waiting on the other two.

Post # 5
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Typically the BMs pay for their own dresses. In some cases, the bride helps out if she wishes to. I would ask what they would all be comfortable spending on dress/shoes/alterations and stick to their amounts when choosing.

Post # 6
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

My girls already had their Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses from another wedding, but in that one we paid for them ourselves.  I’ve been in 4 weddings, 2 I bought myself, and 2 the brides bought.  I think its the norm in the US (assuming that’s where you are from) for bridsmaids to pay for their own dresses.  But in Asian culture, I think its typical for the bride to pay.

Post # 7
Member
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

We paid for all of the bridesmaid dresses at our wedding.

Post # 8
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My BMs paid for their own dresses and alterations.  I feel like that is the norm for this area (mid-atlantic).

Post # 9
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Usually the bridesmaids do. I will be making the dresses for my girls so I’m buying the material. The girls might chip in later.

Post # 10
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Traditionally BM’s pay for their own dresses. I’m only having a Maid/Matron of Honor who is my younger sister. She’s travelling for the wedding and I wanted a particular dress which was on the pricey side but I know she loved and would wear again so I paid for it. The dress and jelwery along with spa day was our treat and my gift to her!

 

Post # 11
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

she’s taking care of alterations and shoes though!

Post # 12
Member
827 posts
Busy bee

The bridesmaids, unless the bride is wealthy and/or wants them to wear very expensive dresses.

Post # 13
Member
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

Traditionally, the bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, alterations, hair, makeup, travel expenses, contributions to any showers/parties as well as a contribution to the gift that the bridesmaids get the bride.  Keyword here is: Traditionally.  Traditionally, if the bridesmaid was not at a finanancil point in her life where she could commit to the above responsibilities, she would turn down the offer (reglardless of how close she was to the bride) now a days, I feel like it’s more of, were best friends so of course I’m your BM–there’s no more thought about it past that.  And I am not saying any one way is right or wrong.  

I think it’s nice if the bride can help (if she chooses) but noone should call it poor ettiquette if she doesn’t.  

Post # 14
Member
11234 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

My bridesmaids are paying for their dresses. I worked really hard to find a place where we could get dresses in the same/similar colors/styles that would work for several different body types/sizes, as well as keeping the price low. I was complaining that the cheapest dresses I could find were in the $60-70 range, and my BMs told me that I was crazy and that that was cheap. 

Post # 15
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Personally, most of the brides I’ve known have bought their BM’s dresses. I’ve only known of two who didn’t, but, once I found the Bee, I’ve seen that it’s a lot more common. Brides not paying for their Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses doesn’t go over too well in my area/social circle, but that’s because it isn’t considered the “norm”. Personally, I think the bride should pay for her BM’s dresses because they are part of the overall look of her day. If the bride doesn’t want to pay for the dresses, I think it makes much more sense for her to choose a style, color, etc. then allow the BMs to choose the actual dress so they can set their own budget, pick something they actually like, etc. I realize not everyone agrees with me, but I think it is very rude to dictate a particular dress then expect someone else to pay for it. I think many brides forget that their wedding is not nearly as high priority for the budgets of anyone but themselves. 

Post # 16
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Terryal87:  I agree. 

I think close friends/family have become “shoe-ins” for BMs. It’s often very hard to decline the invitation to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man, even if one isn’t in a place where it is comfortable financially, for fear of insulting the bride/damaging their relationship. I think this is even more reason for the bride to factor the cost into her own budget (because this is her event), allow the BMs to choose their own dress (to set their own budget), or specifically say “I understand if this would be too much of a financial burden” when extending the invitation. Still, many girls won’t be eager to admit the last one, so (IMO) option 1 and 2 are much better. 

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