Post # 17
The Maid/Matron of Honor has completely mishandled the situation but you need to contibute. If you truly can’t afford this, it’s fine to explain that you’re on a tight budget. But claiming “it not your job as a bridesmaid”, or “the host should pay” or “you know the bride the least” are poor excuses. Etiquette absolutely does not excuse you from contributing. Just because the bride was “cheap” at your wedding doesn’t mean you need to pay her back in kind by being cheap. If your MOHs (plural, more than 1 person shouldered the cost of your shower) didn’t ask her for a contribution, that’s not her fault. Every single baby/wedding shower I have organized or attended, the host has never absorbed the full cost.
You can be clear with the Maid/Matron of Honor about your budget for the bachelorette, but since the shower is already booked all you can do is pay, or you will “come across as a bitch”.
Post # 18
The bridal showers that I’ve been a bridesmaid in it’s been the Maid/Matron of Honor basically plans the whole thing then divides it between the bridesmaids and anyone else who wants to host. So pretty much exactly what her Maid/Matron of Honor is doing. It wouldn’t bother me because I expected that’s what it would be each time, but I can see how when you don’t know that’s what she’s doing it would be confusing or rude. I’d just pay my share and move on.
Post # 19
@lastlastfirst: as far as mine goes, my Maid/Matron of Honor and a couple of the girls who offered are throwing my shower (there are 10 of them but some of them are too far away and can’t help but are contributing monetarily) – they’ve worked it out amongst themselves, but its easy because they are all friends.
Post # 20
Interesting post… I am curious too. My Maid/Matron of Honor already warned me she may throw me a bachelorette party in vegas(not firm yet) for me Then one of our girlfriend got engaged after me… just in case there is any misunderstanding, I casually ask her does she want a bachelorette party or a shower (she doesn’t even know when is she getting married), she answered “we have our vegas trip..”
I feel like she is hijacking my party…..and if she is going with us and thinking we join our bachelorette party together, how’s the cost going to be like? We most likely be there on the weekend if we have one in vegas. I don’t mind contributing my own portion but I’m not that close to that girl (she is closer to my Maid/Matron of Honor but we all hang out together from time to time) and not too keen on paying for her portion cuz’ I’m on a tight budget…
so question is …. how will the cost like? ? my bridal party will go with me (beside one Bridesmaid or Best Man cuz’ my cousin is too busy with work and her master degree, dun expect her has time for that), maybe some of my other friends too.