- 9 years ago
My long term boyfriend and I have looked at rings and I will receive it between December and January.
He is looking to spend around $8,000 on the ring.
Because of the cost of the ring, according to him, he will only be helping with costs of the wedding. He says the wedding is all about me so that means it’s totally in my hands but he’d help. I feel weird about this.
I don’t have the money to spend on a wedding, I am willing to put down $5,000 on it. My parents can’t help us. I know when his sister got married she got $10,000 from his parents and I think both her and her fiance paid for the rest. I know their wedding was certainly all about her, maybe that’s why he thinks he has nothing to do with ours?
I’m getting upset because I think we should split the bill evenly down the middle. 50/50 in a perfect split would be fine by me. But he says he’s spending all this money on a ring so why does he have to pay for the ring and half the wedding.
I’ve waited 11 years to be engaged, I would love a beautiful ring from him, one of the ones we looked at. I almost want to tell him ok fine we’ll go cheaper on the ring. But then I’ll just be more upset, I’d rather have a nice ring forever (nether of us want to upgrade) than throw all kinds of money into just 1 day. But I think I’d be depressed if I couldn’t have a nice wedding… even a semi nice one. (flip flop, back and forth)
Do I sit down with him now and tell him look, we are going to have to do this 50/50 for the wedding, so we will have to go with a more minimal ring, or do I just let things be? Because what if our parents help us, we’d be able to have close to the wedding I would love. I think I might be ahead of myself, he doesn’t want to get into it until we’re engaged, I assume because he’s tied up into finalizing the ring (we looked but I gave him an idea so I don’t know the exact one I’m getting.)
I don’t like talking money about the wedding. I have no problem talking about money any other time but the wedding seems like something that should fall into place as to who is paying for what. I won’t be afraid to be more aggressive once I get the ring though…
In a nutshell, I want a ring like what we planned on, I would be upset if he chose to go for less to be able to put more into the wedding.