(Closed) Who pays for the wedding in an ideal world?

posted 11 years ago in Money
  • poll: Which option do you think works best?

    The marrying couple pays

    All three parties pitch in

    Both the parents pay, but not the newlyweds to be

    Other combination

  • Post # 3
    Member
    6593 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    In an ideal world I would want my Fiance and I to pay for the wedding all by ourselves!

    Post # 4
    Member
    661 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010 - The Mountain Terrace, Woodside, CA

    Well, in an “ideal” world, my lottery winnings would pay for it! Tongue out

    But really, I voted that we, the couple would pay. If we could afford to totally pay for everything ourselves we would, because among other things, it would mean we would have total control over everything.

    Post # 5
    Member
    2640 posts
    Sugar bee

    If the scenario is that everyone in questio can pay, then I agree that the bride and groom should pay.  One, as mentioned, it gives them total control.  But also, if two grown ups can afford to pay for the wedding they desire, why would the parents pay?

    Post # 6
    Member
    239 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I would totally pay for everything myself if I had the money! I think if it was my money I wouldn’t feel quite so much pulled in every direction. There are a lot of strings that come with other peoples’ money!

    Post # 7
    Member
    14181 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I totally agree with the PP’s! If two grown adults can totally afford their own wedding, they should just pay for it themselves. If mom and dad and FI’s parents want to chip in, they can help with like, the honeymoon or gift ’em some money. I think money always comes with strings (my dad is king of being a money puppet) and it’s so nice to just say “well, we want to do it this way” and do it…not “oh well, we have to do what they say b/c they’re paying for it”. All the weddings i”ve been to where parents have helped out (or bride’s family covered it) have all been weddings where the B&G were fairly young and/or had no money. If we couldn’t have afforded what we did have, I think i would have likely taken my parents up on their offer (their way or no money)

    Edit: although ideally, i wouldn’t want to PAY for anything, i want it all to magically appear for free!!! =]

    Post # 8
    Member
    10216 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2010

    hmm i say all three because even if you can pay the parents will want to contribute something if they can.  for example they invites or flowers or something like that. i don’t know if they should pick them out, i’d prefer them giving 500 to invites or for the dress, something like that.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4765 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2011 - Vintage Villas

    I would definitely want to pay for it if we had the money! Then we wouldn’t have to worry about fighting anyone for control of things and we could do exactly what we want!

    Post # 10
    Member
    436 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I like the idea of it being a gift from the parents.  That said, I think it should be both sets equally, not just my mom and dad!  but i know my parents are thrilled to throw a huge party for all of our family and friends in the form of our wedding, and that really means the world to me.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3575 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    Ideally, I would prefer for my Fiance and me to pay.  But it’s my parents and us.  And I’m okay with that.  They offered to help and who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth?!

    Post # 12
    Member
    142 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    I’d say all three parties pitch in EQUALLY. Again, this is in a perfect world where parents don’t say “Well, since I’m helping you pay, I should have an input on your choices” lol.. I had a friend’s mom do this to her in regards to EVERY aspect of the wedding. I think that’s the sole reason we chose to do things this way.

    Post # 13
    Member
    806 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I like the idea of the parents paying, kind of for sentimental reasons.  It’s the last big thing that they do for you as their child…

    Post # 14
    Member
    7776 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    lol. In an “ideal” world, they would be free.

    I think that all 3 parties would chip in.

    Post # 15
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    i’m old fashioned and think that the parents should pay – part of the whole thing that the families are doing it as a gift to the couple as well as a celebration of their childrens marriage. at least if its the couple’s first marriage. i think any second marriages should be paid by the couple.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2280 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    In my ideal world, the marrying couple would pay for everything. I hate hate hate the idea of giving my parents another financial burden. Not everyone has the luxury of well-off parents, you know? And I’d like having total control over the purse strings.

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