(Closed) Who pays for the wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Money
  • poll: Who is paying for the wedding?
    Bride's Parents : (16 votes)
    26 %
    Groom's Parents : (0 votes)
    Bride and Groom's Parents : (10 votes)
    16 %
    Bride and Groom : (35 votes)
    57 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3539 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    were paying for pretty much all of ours, mum and dad however have kindly offered to pay for the hire of our reception venue. So thats exciting!

    Post # 4
    Member
    1184 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Bride (me) and Groom (FI) AND my parents. Future Father-In-Law is paying for what the FI’s family is traditionally supposed to pay for the rehearsal dinner and our honey moon. Yay!

    Post # 5
    Member
    463 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    just us… wish somebody’s helping us though 🙁

    Post # 6
    Member
    950 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    For the wedding (except RDs & honeymoon), we’re paying for it all – and we wouldn’t have it any other way.  We get total final decision – when we consider our parents’ opinions, it’s based on choices we provide; we have complete vision control – it’s so us; our parents have an excuse when deflecting questions about our wedding – “they’re paying, so it’s their decision“.  Both sets of parents are hosting a Rehearsal Dinner (two ceremonies, so two rehearsals, so two RDs).  We haven’t decided whether we’re honeymooning right away, but FI’s parents have offered to pay for that.

    I also love that this is practice for marriage – each decision is made mutually, in part because it’s our money; we practice staying in budget & discussing priorities.  I think if one or both sets of parents were contributing GREATLY, these discussions would be between each of us & each set of parents (me & mine, him & his) rather than with each other. (no offense to couples whose parents are paying – I’m sure you’re getting some great marriage prep, too; just different from ours)

    Post # 7
    Member
    826 posts
    Busy bee

    His parents and my parents were suppose to help us with the wedding but they all decided they werent going to help us because of the economy and so forth but they still go on vacation. Does that make any sense to all of you? LoL so we are paying for the wedding ceremony, reception and honeymoon if we have enough.

    Post # 8
    Member
    1051 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    We’re paying for everything from rehearsal to honeymoon.  I got yelled at and accused of being insensitive least time I said this, but because of our age (late 20s) and how long we’ve been on our own, I (maybe the bold & underline will help) would feel weird having it any other way.  It’s also nice when everyone’s offering their advise & opinions to know I have the final say=)

    Post # 9
    Member
    3252 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We are. I like it that way cuz then I don’t have to clash with anyone. What I say goes. Just me tho.

    Post # 10
    Member
    14185 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Us. Except Rehearsal Dinner and Honeymoon (those are gifts). My parents offered to pay for a wedding and they laid out what THEY wanted. Dad said “get married in Jamaica, I’ll pay for us to go, you and your Fiance, his mom, and each of you can have an attendant”. Well unfortunately that doesn’t include our family and friends and we felt it was more of a selfish jesture. THEY had a small wedding and didn’t see the “point” in having more people than just a Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man and parents there. Like grandparents. And aunts. And friends. And siblings. So we said “no” to their money and dad said, “Fine pay for it yourself” and i said, “oh, we will” and got to do everything our way. Unfortunately my dad’s money comes with ridiculous strings attached. Always has, always will.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3788 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I know that “tradition” says the bride’s parents pay for the wedding, but I really dislike the idea of expecting anyone to pay for something for me unless they have previously offered. I wouldn’t get engaged and then ask my parents how much they’re forking out. I would wait for them to bring up the subject. Same with groom’s parents; if they are so inclined to donate, they will say so.

    sweetlikcake — since you asked, I think that it’s their money to do with as they please. So if their disposable income shrunk and they decided to keep it for themselves rather than give it to you, can you really fault them? Too, it depends on how much of an offer they’d made. Unless you had previously sat down and made a budget with them, you really can’t hold them to an offhand comment like “yeah we’ll help pay.” If they really did offer XXX amount and you started planning with that in mind, then they took back their offer, I would be upset about that.

    As it happens in my actual situation, Fiance and I are paying our own way completely but getting help in that we’re having it on his family’s property and we’ll probably DIY a lot with help.

    Post # 12
    Member
    4385 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    My parents are generously paying for the minimum bill for our restaurant reception. If we go over the minimum, then we’ll pay the difference. My parents are also paying for my dress, and then Fiance and I are paying for everything else! When all is said and done I think it’ll end up being about 50/50 between  my parents and us. I am very lucky to have such amazing parents!!!

    Post # 13
    Member
    671 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: March 2018

    My parents insisted on paying, just as they did for my sister when she married.  It is a little odd feeling, since my Fiance and I are totally self-sufficient but I would seriously break my parents’ hearts if I turned them down.  So Fiance and I are paying for some stuff (invitations, gown, suit, honeymoon and bands), his parents are paying for Rehearsal Dinner and morning-after brunch and my parents are paying for the rest. 

    And luckily, both sets of parents are completely hands-off with any of the wedding decisions.  Mine will give their opinions when asked (i.e. menu options) but they are careful not to insist on anything nor make any demands.  I feel very blessed!! 

    Post # 14
    Member
    4567 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    My parents are paying for all of it. Of course, we’re also having a wedding because they want one so fair’s fair. I’d go to the courthouse tomorrow and be done with it.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1523 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I didn’t vote because there was no option that realted to our wedding financing. Essentially my parents, Fiance and I are paying for the wedding. FI’s parents are paying for our rehearsal dinner, and parts of our honeymoon. Future Mother-In-Law just found a new job after being laid off for 8 months so FI’s parents want to help more financially. Not sure if that will happen or not. It’s not really necessary at this point because we have a solid budget figured out, but it’s nice that they have offered.

    Post # 16
    Member
    2779 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    We’re paying for our wedding. Both our sets of parents are not in a financial position where they could help us out with the wedding.

    The topic ‘Who pays for the wedding?’ is closed to new replies.

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