(Closed) Who pays for wedding in groom's state?posted 3 years ago in Guests
- 3 years ago
- Wedding: October 2016
It sounds like you’ve already committed to paying. If this was under a false impression of the wedding plans or if you don’t want/are unable to anymore, you need to talk to your daughter and her Fiance ASAP. There’s no right or wrong answer as far as who pays and how much, but all of you must be on the same page.
With them, come up with how much you are willing to pay and then ask them what they would like for their wedding. If they can’t make up the difference, then they will need to change their plans. If deposits have already been put down based on the impression that you will be paying and now can no longer use those vendors, you and your daughter will need to work out who will lose that money.
If you would like an example, my wedding is not in my hometown. My dad has offered no money and hasn’t asked for any say in it, my mom has offered some money (approx 10%) and has asked to be kept in the loop but has no interest in vetoing anything and my FIs parents have contributed quite a bit of money (approx 50%). They have been quite involved in choosing the caterer and alcohol and added quite a few friends to the guest list. My Fiance and I are paying the difference (approx 40%) and are doing all of the planning, with the input of parents already mentioned.
- 3 years ago
if you want to help your daughter, i would suggest helping with other items such as buying her dress, maybe the flowers or decor, perhaps her transportation or any hotel costs for the couple. nowadays, many parents do not contribute or certainly not along the strict traditional lines because very few people are having a ‘traditional’ wedding (i.e., dependent bride being married off to be under the care of another man).
- 3 years ago
dadster : you say you thought that you’d be paying for it due to tradition but then became confused as plans progressed. But, if your daughter is getting married in October and if you gave your daughter etc. the impression that you were paying back when you assumed you were and then you didn’t explicitly jump in as plans progressed (like location of wedding and guest list) to clarify that you would be decreasing your contribution by X amount (or to only cover y items, etc.), in time so that they could change their plans accordingly w an accurate idea of how your contribution would change based on all those details before paying deposits and selecting vendors and ordering invitations (all of which are mostly long done by now if the wedding is in October), then you should stick to the impression you gave them (that you’d be footing the bill) because you assumed you would be, gave that impression, and then never let them know that had changed in time for them to change their plans or adjust budget/finances.
The topic ‘Who pays for wedding in groom's state?’ is closed to new replies.