(Closed) Who pays for what

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

I think the traditional rule is that bride’s parents pay for ceremony/reception and grooms parents pay for rehersal dinner/wedding rings/honeymoon.

That being said… It doesn’t seem anyone really follows these rules anymore. It is more on the couple to finance their own weddings and one or both sets of parents may contribute a certain amount.

Post # 4
Member
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

There are so many different lists. For us, its my parents are paying for reception venue (minus the bar tab which will be paid by his parents). A lot of the smaller details, me and my guy are paying for ourselves

Post # 5
Member
383 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

Traditionally, bride’s parents pay for the wedding while groom’s parents pay for the rehearsal dinner, rings, etc.

I don’t really hear of any parents paying for honeymoons at all anymore, it sounds like the couple is usually paying for this if they can afford to go. Also, it seems like the couple puts a lot of money in towards the wedding itself, therefore, the bride’s parents do not pay for EVERYTHING.

We paid for about $7,500 of our wedding (NOT including rings or honeymoon- if you factor in rings and honeymoon/minimoon we paid for $15,000). While our parents paid off the remainder. Based on how much each of parents were giving us we just asked them to pay for things here and there and didn’t restrict them to certain things based on tradition.

Post # 7
Member
1510 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My parents are paying for the entire wedding and reception.  My Fiance and I are paying for the rings and honeymoon.  My FI’s parents are paying for the rehersal dinner.  I think this is the traditional way with a bit of a modern twist.

Post # 8
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My grandma is paying for the ceremony and his parents are paying for reception we are paying for rings and honeymoon.

Post # 9
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

traditionally, yeah the brides parents pay for specific things, but it’s widely accepted that this doesn’t always pan out this way.

I think generally speaking, the majority of weddings have everybody contributing

Post # 10
Member
2365 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Theres even a tradition that the grooms family pays for the brides bouquet… =)

Tradtion is what you make though … imo

Post # 11
Member
350 posts
Helper bee

My parents insisted on paying for the entire wedding but then got very angry when FH’s family could not afford to pay for the rehearsal dinner or really anything wedding-related.  My parents are VERY traditional.  We insisted that was not a problem and that FH and I could just pay for the rehearsal dinner, but my parents said that was ridiculous and that we shouldn’t have to pay anything.  So now they are paying for the dinner too.  They are still bitter about it though and make weird snide comments from time to time (to me, thankfully not to FH or his family.)  So yes, I would say it’s caused some drama.

FH and I have paid for our own pre-marital prep (we are catholic so there has been a lot of this and pretty expensive), we’re paying for our own rings and our own honeymoon.  I also put about $500 towards the cake and the DJ.

Post # 12
Member
530 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

I wish ANY parents were paying for ANYTHING in our case.

(But I think you do have the general tradition right.Wink)

Post # 13
Member
769 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

we went to each of our parents and asked what they could give. my parents are giving considerably more, but FH parents are definitely giving more than is “traditional.” With that money, we make the decisions and if we spend less, we still get that amount from our families. It definitely makes us rethink each spending decision!

Post # 14
Member
2271 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I wouldn’t know, we pqaid for it all ourselves.

Post # 15
Member
1892 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

There are so many different versions of this. Growing up I always thought it was the brides parents pay for the wedding and the grooms the rehearsal dinner. However, in our case my parents are helping out where they can and we are picking up the tab. They are paying for certain vendors and the rest us.

Post # 16
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee

From what I’ve heard, the bride’s family pays for the wedding and the groom’s parents pay for the rehearsal dinner/honeymoon.  In our case, his parents and my parents paid for half each.

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