(Closed) Who pays for what?

posted 9 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
2373 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

Traditionally,

 

  The Bride’s family:

  • All of the reception costs (i.e., room rental, food, and beverages).
  • Bridesmaids’ bouquets and flowers.
  • Decorative accessories for the ceremony and reception.
  • Music for the ceremony and reception.
  • Groom’s wedding gift and wedding band.
  • Bridesmaids’ gifts and their hotel accommodations.
  • Photographer and photographs.
  • Wedding stationary.
  • Bride’s wedding gown, accessories and trousseau.
  • All transportation and parking expenses for the ceremony and reception.

The Groom’s Family:

 

  • Bride’s rings and wedding gift.
  • Marriage license.
  • Grooms-men’s gifts.
  • Ties and gloves for the groom’s party.
  • Bride’s bouquet and corsage.
  • Corsages for mothers and grandmothers.
  • Boutonnieres for the groom’s party.
  • Clergyman’s fee.
  • Rehearsal dinner.
  • The honeymoon

  A more modern way of doing this is to sit down with your and his parents (if they are paying) and see what they are willing to offer- use that as your budget.

 

 

 

Post # 4
Member
5 posts
Newbee

When dealing with this issue, I found that both his and my parents didn’t know any of the traditional way of handling finances.  And when polling other married friends, the traditions vary by what part of the country you’re from!  So we chose to wait for parents to approach us with the subject, and just let them know the budget and let them cover what they felt comfortable with.

Post # 5
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2018

We’re doing the "modified" traditional thing:

 My parents are paying for all reception expenses (DJ, food, cake), wedding dress, hair, and anything else ‘bride’ related, flowers, photographer

His parents are paying for the rehearsal dinner and alcohol for the wedding.

We’re paying for the rings, gifts for bridal party, honeymoon, marriage certificate

Post # 6
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Oh, and my parents also paid for all wedding stationary (save-the-dates, invitations, and thank yous) and all decor-related items.

Post # 7
Member
2205 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

My parents are giving us a set amount and we’re basically picking up the slack.  We’re definitely paying for the wedding bands and honeymoon in addition to picking up all the little extras that add up so quickly!

 I like the idea of going to your parents first to see what they are [both] willing to contribute.  Our wedding budget was definitely affected by what was contribeud by the parents, and not vice verse.  But if you have very specific ideas of what you want and have a ball park budget in mind, then it might be better to say "Here’s a our budget, we’ll be thankful for whatever you feel like you can contribute!"

I think the tradition, too, can depend on where the bride and groom are in life.  I’m young, I’m a new graduate, and he is in grad school.  We’d hardly be able to have a wedding without their help!  I’d imagine if the couple is older and more established, they at least have the freedom to contribute more.

Post # 8
Member
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

My parents contributed a little over half for our wedding expenses.  My husband and I saved up to cover the rest. 

His family covered the rehearsal dinner only.

Post # 9
Member
390 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

We’re trying to cover almost everything with my parents contribution.  Basically, the only thing they aren’t covering is the honeymoon, our rings, and the licensing (that we are taking care of) and the rehearsal dinner and groom/groomsmen/ushers attire (my Future Mother-In-Law wanted to do the male attire in addition, we didn’t ask). 

Post # 10
Member
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

We got pretty lucky and both our parents offered to cover half and half.

Post # 11
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

My parents gave us a contribution that will cover most of the wedding expenses (minus rings, honeymoon, license, gown) – we’re paying for the rest. His side is covering the rehearsal dinner – it’s becoming a HUGE hassle, as they won’t compromise on the location and it’s an hour away from our ceremony location. I wish we could just pay for everything ourselves!

Post # 12
Member
156 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2009 - Beach Social Hall

Speaking traditionally, maureen9004 is right on the nose; however, nothing is so traditional anymore. Mr. SR and I are paying for the majority of our wedding, while our parents are helping out where they can (his parents paid for our venue deposit, my mom is paying for our cake and bartender, etc).

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