(Closed) Who receives save the dates?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
731 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I don’t know the etiquette on this one, but as for me, I am sending Save the Dates to only out-of-town people, which would include anyone that lives more than 2 hours away by car. If I’m breaking any rules… what the hell, I’m saving money and a lot of time (i’m DIY-ing all the paper products)!

For you, I think it’s completely fine to just send them to people who will have to travel longer distances. 🙂 Those on the island don’t need that much of an advance notice!

Post # 4
22 posts
  • Wedding: May 2012

You should send Save The Dates to anyone you plan to invite to the wedding.  Remember that anyone who gets a Save The Date MUST get an invite!

Post # 5
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Imean:  I think it’s the people that you plan on inviting to your wedding…but alas, I am newly engaged so I don’t exactly know ALL of the wedding etiquette out there…good luck! 🙂

Post # 6
1699 posts
Bumble bee

Save-the-date cards are a recent innovation. Proper etiquette does not require that you send them at all: in fact the most strict standards of etiquette rather frowns on them.

The most proper thing to do, is to send a personal note to anyone whose presence at your wedding is essential to your happiness that day. It doesn’t have to be handwritten on note paper. Although many people love receiving real old-fashioned mail and it’s a great way to impress people, a private individual email or even a *private* personal facebook message works just as well to share your plans,=l

If you do decide to send save-the-dates, be very cautious. Wedding messageboards are full of posts from brides who sent out their save-the-dates before they encountered the harsh realities of budget and venue constraints, and then had to struggle with the dilemma of having asked more people to “save the date” in the beginning, than they were able to invite in the end. And unlike personal notes which are typically not compared because they are, well, personal; a mass-produced save-the-date card sent to some people and not others, the people who do NOT get one are likely to wonder why they were left off — so if two people are likely to compare notes make sure you send a save-the-date card to both, or to neither.

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