(Closed) Who said no gifts?

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I have never heard of a no-gift shower.  That is a contradiction in terms, because the express purpose of a bridal shower is to shower the bride with gifts for married life.

 

Post # 4
Member
9 posts
Newbee

hmmm, this is strange!  You’re right.  i’ve actually never heard of a “no gifts shower”   normally the point is to get gifts to start off your life together.  Unless you are already living together and have most things already.  in that case, I would still give money.  i would be stumped as well!  looking forward to seeing other responses

Post # 5
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

It isn’t greedy of you at all.  It is completely weird of your sister, however.  The definition of a shower is to “shower” the bride with gifts, that’s the whole purpose of a shower!  You need to ask her why she did that.  She owes you an explanation.  Essentially she ruined your bridal shower, IMO.

ETA:  I re-read your post and you said you had a very simple shower and hadn’t really even wanted one to begin with.  Maybe, giving your sister the benefit of the doubt, is she thought you would prefer NOT getting gifts.  It could just be a miscommunication.  If you have good relationship with your sister otherwise, maybe she was trying to please you.  Either way you two need to talk.

Post # 6
Member
1725 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

never heard of this…strange…I’m sorry it didn’t turn out like you had hoped!

Post # 7
Member
13014 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Wow, that’s strange.  But, you got to have a nice day with people who love you, so that’s some consolation!  I still would have felt really awkward with no gifts, though!

Post # 8
Member
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

I would talk with your sister. A shower is for gifts to be given to the bride.

Post # 9
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Maybe she got confused with a bachelorette and just though she could have a little party/getogether and ask everyone not to bring a gift. I’m sure they will all bring gifts to the wedding though

Post # 13
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I could see how you saying no shower she may think you didnt want to be surrounded by 50 people while you open gifts. Its possible she did this so you would be more comfortable.

Post # 14
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

Aw hun I’m sorry this happened.  From the background relationship with your sister it sounds like maybe she didn’t have the best of intentions in this situation.  Can you have your mom innocently ask her why she said no gifts.  Make it look like your mom is doing the inquiring and not you.

Post # 15
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t know, I guess I’m just stumped.  I know people can’t read my mind, but I need to figure out why things turned out so much differently than what I expected.

I really don’t have the type of relationship where I can talk to my sister about these things – I just worry that it would hurt her feelings.  I truly believe she did everything with the best of intentions – I guess I just wish I was consulted on some of these decisions.

This answers your question:  People can’t read your mind.  You don’t have the type of relationship where you can talk to your sister. 

However, you want to be “consulted on some of these decisions.”  How would they know that? 

You need to learn to communicate with people.  Or this will keep happening to you, and you will continue being baffled and confused by why people can’t read your mind.  It’s self-defeating. 

Not trying to be harsh, I just want you to see what you’re doing.  I would be confused as to what you wanted as well.  If you really believe your sister has your best intentions at heart, you should try talking with her.  You could say, “I really appreciate all of your efforts in throwing me such a nice shower.  Thank you so much for that.  I was a little surprised that there were no gifts, but Mom told me you had said it was a no-gift shower.  Did I say or do anything to make you think that is what I preferred?”

Post # 16
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@lmoss78:  I am so sorry about that!  It explains more, so thank you for explaining.  It does seem after all that maybe she does not have your best interest at heart, if she is jealous of you.  ((HUGS))  I hope the rest of your wedding planning goes more smoothly.  Good luck to you!

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