Post # 1
I am having my older sister, 2 best friends and 2 nieces as my bridesmaids. My sister never asked me to be her Maid/Matron of Honor, which I know shouldn’t matter, but we are not really that close, so I don’t really want to ask her to be mine.
I am close to my 2 friends, but I see one a lot more than the other one. The one I don’t see as much I have known for the longest and I think she is expecting to be my Maid/Matron of Honor as she mentioned it when I got engaged. My 2 friends are not close and have only met a few times at my birthdays.
I don’t want to cause arguments with my friends so I am thinking of either going with my sister as Maid/Matron of Honor even though we are not that close, or just not having one at all.
What do you Bees suggest I do?
Post # 3
Personally i think the most difficult part of the wedding is choosing a Maid/Matron of Honor, i also came accross this problem myself. You should choose the one you feel closest to, the one that you’d call in a crisis, and prefer spending time with. The one you’d share all your thoughts with no holds barred.
I had 2 friends presume they’d automatically be bridesmaids when i booked my wedding, based on the fact that they’d known me for years. I have gone with my sister and another friend, who i have also known for years. She has been a godsend and i feel she is totally on my level, and she is without doubt the kind of person i want to follow me down the aisle. As they say you cant keep everyone happy. Good luck.
Post # 4
Take the length of time you’ve known them and the amount you see them out of the question.
Who would you call in a crisis? Who has been the most excited about your wedding so far? Who do you think would go ‘above and beyond’?
Post # 5
@PapillonRose: I picked sister because I feel that your friends might be offended if one was picked over the other.
Post # 6
@PapillonRose: is one married/single? you could have a maid of honor and a matron of honor
Post # 7
@Miss Jackrabbit: +1 i did not ask my best friend of 20 years to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.
she is not into weddings shes divorced and has no intrest in weddings i need someone whos going to help and be excited with me my other Boyfriend or Best Friend has MS ; ( shes not up for the task i begged her to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man but she will not use a wheel chair and the walking is too much for her. i had my FH sister be my Maid/Matron of Honor caz shes all into wedding planning plus we grew very close. i choose who would want the task and that im close with.
Post # 8
I couldn’t pick between my sister and my cousin so I have a maid of honor and a matron of honor, are one of the girls married?
Post # 9
@PapillonRose: i have four bridesmaids, and although there is one amongst them that i would have chosen for to be my Maid/Matron of Honor if i wasn’t worried about making it awkward with the others or putting extra pressure on her, i ended up not choosing one and having just bridesmaids. that friend, without being assigned to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, has since took the lead in a lot of the aspects needed from the bridesmaids which in my opinion shows she is the Maid/Matron of Honor without the “title”?! she’s really not the kind of person to mind about being one or not, and i asked her to do a reading in the ceremony, something only she will do, because she is special. i know the tradition of Maid/Matron of Honor is perfectly good and i have nothing against it at all, but i also don’t think it’s necessary (especially if there is potential for drama) and there are lots of other ways to show that someone is extra special to you!
Post # 10
Personally, I would pick my sister or not have one. Those are the two outcomes I see not upsetting anyone.
Post # 11
I have 2, I couldn’t pick either. So it’s my sister and my bet friend.
Post # 12
I would pick sister. 🙂 Regardless of which choice you make, they’re your close friends and they are there to help you with the wedding and share the joys, not to get the Maid/Matron of Honor title. 🙂 The wedding is about you after all. Since they are your true friends, they would understand your decision and respect that.
Post # 13
I have two bridesmaids, didn’t really want to, or feel the need to, appoint one as a Maid/Matron of Honor. So far this have worked great, no problem what so ever and they have both been really helpful.
However, if you do feel a need to have one – pick your sister, no one can really get upset by that.
Post # 14
@PapillonRose: i picked 2 maids of honor my sister and my friend whose been there for me .me and my sister arent that close either.but I chose her if I had to pick one it would still be my sister just make your two friends both bridesmaids at least you still though of them .the decision you make for this day will mean a lot for the rest of your life choose
Your sister you can also work on a better and stronger relationship with her im getting married april 20th
Post # 15
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I picked the friend I talk to the most, but no one said you have to have a maid of honor. THat might be the easiest way to go for you
Post # 16
Who do you want standing next to you as you say your vows? Who do you want doing up your dress in your photos you look back on? Who do you want seated next to you at dinner so she’s right there when you want to share something with a girlfriend? That’s the girl you pick. After that you figure out how to make it okay with the other girls.