(Closed) Who should give a toast at the wedding?

posted 6 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
46 posts
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would worry less about who “needs” to give a toast. We’ve decided to ask one family member and one friend from each side, and then do one together. We aren’t having a designated Maid/Matron of Honor or Best Man, or they would be the obvious choices I guess. 

When you say “do I limit it to family”, does that mean every member of you family in the bridal party, and parents, or a couple of representatives? 

And the more people you have speak, the more I think you’d need to consider an enforced time limit. If it is what you want, you could have every member of your bridal party give a toast – but only VERY short ones!

Post # 4
3625 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Are the people making toasts pretty entertaining and are good speakers? If so, you can probably do about 4-5 toasts at about 2-3 minutes each and be okay. HOWEVER, if language is a problem (e.g. it may be hard for the majority of guests to understand – accent or limited English) or the speakers are just not very engaging, then I would do a max of 3 toasts at 2 minutes each and call it a day.

We went to a wedding where the FOB was very sweet and endearing and sprinkled little jokes throughout his speech and it was great. However, we went to a huge wedding (300+) and it went really bad. The bride’s brothers and father spoke and they had heavily accented English and no one could understand them. On top of that, they were a little buzzed and kept talking and talking for like 7+ minutes each and it was mostly rambling, versus a set beginning/middle/end with a purpose/point. About 3 minutes in, people were noticeably shuffling in their seats and looking around (or chatting!) and the family members were getting offended (to the point where someone actually yelled out, “He’s speaking here!”).

In general, I probably would limit overall speaking time to about 10 – 12 minutes, max, unless all your guests are very close family members and friends who actually know the people giving the toasts.


Post # 5
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Please consider keeping the speeches to a minimum.  We just went to a nieces wedding and all SIX of her BM’s had to speak, and they each had two pages written out, it went on forever, thank god my bro sprung for an open bar!!   At ours we had just the best man and my dad did the blessing.  We thanked everyone for coming and being a part of our day and that was it. 

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