Post # 1
My fiance does not like asking his family to do things, he feels like it puts an obligation on them to say yes, and isn’t okay with that.Therefore he doesn’t want to ask anyone to give toasts at our wedding. He is okay with someone from his family giving a toast, but would prefer someone to just volenteer themselves, which isn’t something anyone has done yet with the wedding a month away… Thus it is looking like my dad and my brother will be the only two giving toasts. I suppose I am okay with no one on his side giving one, but I feel like it would be nice and more balanced if someone did, and I suspect his brother would do a good job. Would it be wrong of me to drop a hint to his brother? (Our two best friends are officiating, and he does not want any of his other friends to give a toast.)
Post # 2
We asked our families if anyone wanted to do a speech, simple as that. No pressure at all.
Post # 3
Don’t stress out too much over the toasts…I don’t think you should go over your fiancé’s head and ask his family if he’s already said he doesn’t want to. However, I definitely wouldn’t expect anyone to just volunteer for the job…a lot of people don’t enjoy public speaking and I think that most people assume the best man and maid of honor will be the speech givers.
If anything, I’d just suggest mentioning again to your fiancé that you’d like to casually ask if that’s something his brother would be interested in doing. If either of them don’t like the idea, I’d just let it go and let it be one less thing to stress about. Realistically, most guests can’t wait for them to be over anyway.
If it helps at all to know, we decided to only have my dad give a toast as “host” and it wasn’t weird at all. He welcomed everyone and thanked them for coming, gave us some advice about a happy marriage, and wished everyone a wonderful night and that kicked off our dinner. It was warm, short, and in my opinion, absolutely perfect.
Post # 4
Your fiance has it back to front. It is (generally) rude and presumptuous to offer to give a toast, because it puts pressure on the bride and groom to say yes. Therefore it is much, much better for the bride or groom to ask. It should be possible to ask in such a way that they can gracefully decline.
So the best option is your fiance to step up and ask his brother. I guess you could hint to the brother, since you know that’s what Fiance actually wants. I think “do nothing” is the worst option.
Post # 5
From your poll options it seems as if asking Fiance to ask his brother is not OK and not going to work anyway? That being the case , I think your asking your Future Brother-In-Law would NOT be a good idea.
So unless someone does offer, best let it go – as a pp says, most guests aren’t that keen on multiple toasts anyway . Or speeches. Who is giving speeches, if any ? Just your dad and brother ? That’s fine, quite enough .