(Closed) who should pay 4 bridal shower?

posted 12 years ago in Beehive
Post # 3
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

if she is in charge and has listed herself as the hostess, then i would believe she is fronting cost.

Post # 4
105 posts
Blushing bee

No, the bride does not pay or in any way host the shower – it is a party thrown in her honour

Post # 5
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country

it is kind of strange that it is an issue to begin with.  The bride really shouldnt have a part in planning her own shower.  Its a party thrown for you…if this was unclear in the beginning though, I dont think its a good idea to just demand that your Maid/Matron of Honor gives you money.  See what you can work out between your mom and your Maid/Matron of Honor…but all in all you’re not supposed to have your hand in the planning/execution.  At this point just get your mom in touch with your Maid/Matron of Honor and whatever happens happens.

Post # 6
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Host = $$$

Although I would hope that possibly other BMs might kick in something (make food, pick things up…and so on)


Post # 7
754 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

My Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man have made it clear that I am not to be involved in the shower in any way.  You can tell they talked about it before hand, they were ready with, "Butt out!"  I did manage, however, to quickly say:  "And you won’t forget that I don’t eat red meat or chicken on the bone and latex balloons are harmful to wildlife, right?!" 

(I even had some awesome invites picked out) 

Post # 8
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

My mom and my Maid/Matron of Honor are hosting me a shower (for my friends, my fiance’s girl friends, and fiance’s mom’s side of the family) as well as my fiance’s Aunt (fiance’s dad’s side of the family).  At first my mom was putting everything on me, such as making the invites, etc.  I threw out an SOS to my moh and bridesmaids, but my Maid/Matron of Honor totally took over.  Love her!  I did offer, since it was my mom’s idea to throw me the shower, that I would help her with expenses, considering she’s also planning a bachelorette party for me.  But so far, she hasn’t asked.  =)

Post # 9
236 posts
Helper bee

The bride should not be involved with the shower.  At most she should be asked her availability and for a copy of her guest list.  In all the weddings that I was a part of the Maid/Matron of Honor was in charge and the BMs helped out and chipped in.  The MOB and Future Mother-In-Law often helped as well.  Sometime the MOB and some Aunts would front the cost due to the BMs financial situations or geographical locations.  I have no idea what they will do for mine.  My family and the wedding are a 4 hour drive from where I live and his family is a few miles away.  All but one of my BMs also live hours away (at the moment one is in Japan).  I think I will probably end up with 2 showers.  1 in PA and 1 in CT thrown by my Mom and Aunt in CT and by my BMs and FSILs in PA.

Post # 10
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

The bride should not pay for her own bridal shower.

In fact I believe that your mother should pay for your bridal shower if the majority of the guests consist of your family and your mothers friends.  I don’t think that it is fair for your bridesmaids to pay for a party that is mostly made up of your family and your mothers friends.


Post # 11
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

I do not believe that it is ever the bride’s responsibility to pay for any part of her shower, as this is a party in her honor. As someone who has been in many weddings, I have always had to chip in for the shower.

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