(Closed) Who should pay for bridesmaid hairstyles?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1061 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

My BMs are paying for it themselves. I just said that it was up to them whether they wanted to get their hair and makeup done and listed the price of each service, and that they should let me know if they wanted it so that I could make an appt for them. That got the message across pretty clearly without being awkward.

Post # 4
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2008

My BMs are also paying for themselves however I am giving them a gift certificate to help cover a portion of the cost (approx. $25).  I did the same thing Rebecca mentioned (see above) and made the services optional.

Post # 5
Member
117 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2008 - United Methodist Cathedral & historic downtown hotel in Cleveland

Mine are paying for it themselves- and it is completely optional.  All of them decided to get their hair done, but none are getting their makeup done.

Post # 6
Member
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

All the weddings I’ve been in, the bridesmaids have paid for their own hair. The last wedding I was in, we paid for our hair ($60 each) and the bride and her mother took care of the tip. They also paid for us to get our nails (mani/pedi) done, gave us a $20 gift certificate for that. We took care of the tip and any extra expense (for example, I wanted a french manicure, so I paid extra for that). I think I will do something similar for my girls. At least the tip for the hair, still undecided about the nails.

Post # 7
Member
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I’m with dahlia.  It was completely optional.  My girls are paying, and they’re all getting hair, but not makeup done. 

The downside is that to get a discount, I had to prepay, so now they have to pay me back, and I’m a sucker for saying, "oh don’t worry about it."  Yeah…  on the upside, my hair is free, so I don’t have to worry too much.

Post # 8
Member
273 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

For my wedding, I paid for all the girls Hair/Makeup but they bought their own dress.  I think if it’s in your budget, that’s a nice thing to do, but every person is different, so if it’s not in your budget, don’t feel obligated.  But be sure to let your girls know up front as that is something that they may not have budgeted for themselves, so give them an option of going somewhere else to have it done if they choose to!  Either way, I think it’s a nice thought, but if you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it.  =)

Post # 9
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I paid for my hair at the last wedding I was in and did my own make up.  For my wedding, my BM’s are paying for themselves.  I gave them the option to do whatever they want for hair and makeup.  They are all stylish people.  So I’m sure they will look great.  Most of them are just getting blow outs or leaving their hair down anyway and prefer doing their own make up. 

Post # 10
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Agree with all the posters above that it’s optional.  If you have it in your budget, it’s a nice thing to pay for.  If you want your BMs wearing their hair in a specific style, then I think that warrants the bride paying, too.

However, that doesn’t seem to be the case in your situation.  My primary advice is to manage expectations and talk about it right away when brides ask the BMs to be in the wedding. 

Setting expectations of what duties you expect them to perform and what the costs will be for each girl sometimes helps them decide if they can participate, and can maybe deter the many issues we’ve all seen on these boards!

So if you haven’t done it already, talke to each Bridesmaid or Best Man indiviudally or as a group on what they should be expecting from here to the wedding.  Good luck!

Post # 11
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

when i was a Bridesmaid or Best Man it was optional so i paid for it myself because i can’t fix my own hair. however, just from that experience, it was a little obnoxious and hurtful for the bride to talk about all the money they were saving by not doing certain things even as i paid hundreds of dollars for the dress, shoes, hair, airfare, and travel. a little gesture like paying for our hair or a night in a hotel (anything) would have made a huge difference in how i felt about the situation.

i’m not saying that people *should* pay for certain things or that they shouldn’t try to save money. i guess i’m just saying to be conscious of how much your friends are already doing for you, and be sure to try to find a way (monetary or not) that really shows them how much you appreciate their help. 

Post # 12
Member
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I’m making it optional for my bridesmaids if they want their hair done, since I told them they can do their hair however they want on the wedding day.  I gave them my vendor’s price list and are letting them decide.  I think its okay to ask bridesmaids to pay for themselves as long as you aren’t asking them to do something specific with their hair or wear it all in the same style.  I talked to my bridesmaids about this, and they feel its fair, since I’m already gifting them their dress.

Post # 13
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My girls are all getting theirs done in updos (they want to), but I’m covering some of the cost so it’s not very expensive. I’m also treating them to makeup.

Post # 14
Member
17 posts
Newbee

The rule is if you’re requiring your bridesmaids to get their hair done or you’re requiring it to be done a certain way, then YOU pay.

Otherwise, if it’s completely optional, then the bridesmaids are on their own.  I definitely can’t afford to pay for my bridesmaids to get their hair done.  We can barely pay for the essential wedding expenses let alone any extras lol.  But that’s why I’m not requiring them to do anything special.  If they just want to hair their down like normal, that’s totally fine with me.  

Post # 15
Member
33 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2009

My bridesmaids are all awesome and pretty cool with paying for everything themselves, but I will probably try to help offset costs somewhere in there, whether for part of the dress, or part of hair and makeup. My mom was really the one pushing for that, and I think it’s a nice gesture…her thought process is that if you can help out for at least some of it, the girls will be appreciative and just have more fun. I might try to pay a little bit more for my Maid/Matron of Honor b/c next to me, she’s the one farthest from our wedding location and will have to shell out more money for this wedding on top of the Maid/Matron of Honor responsibilities! I’m in no way made of money, but I feel that if people are going to be making such a significant and selfless contribution to the wedding day, then I’m going to try to help out, whether through monetary means, or by just being more thoughtful in the planning.

Post # 16
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2008

My Bridesmaids are paying for the hair themselves. (theyre all having updos.) except one of them I told her I would help her out! (her parents just moved out of state and she just moved in her with her bf lol) soo im helping her.

They were completely okay with it all though! I’m planning on giving them a gift certificate to a spa here at the beach and also a really nice gift for being a bridesmaid 🙂

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