Post # 1
Member
374 posts
Helper bee
Okay, Bees, who paid for your honeymoon? Was it a gift from your parents? The in-laws? Or did you pay for it yourself?
My parents were always under the impression that proper etiquette dictated that the groom’s family paid for the rehearsal dinner and the honeymoon (and Emily Post agrees!) However, my fiance’s parents didn’t really have a honeymoon because neither of their families could afford it. They stayed in someone’s mountain home for free and called it their honeymoon. They also are angry at my fiance for even bringing up the topic, calling him “entitled” for even asking! According to them, the financial burden of the honeymoon rests solely on the couple. Not enough money to go somewhere nice? Too bad for us.
What are your thoughts?! Who should pay?
ETA: Just to give you an update on our circumstances: we’re 22 and will be right out of college, so it’s not like we have full-time jobs lined up yet or anything. I know that most people would say, “If you’re old enough to get married, you’re old enough to pay for stuff” but in this specific case, we’re both kind of scrambling right now! Looks like we’ll have to find some way to make it work 🙂
Post # 3
Member
911 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: October 2013 - The Down Town Club, Philadelphia
I have no idea what proper etiquette is, but we are paying for our own honeymoon.
My dad is paying for the reception. FI family is paying for the rehearsal. My mom is hosting the morning after brunch, and everything else (band, flowers, fashion, photog) my FI and I are paying for ourselves.
We haven’t even begun to talk about the honeymoon!
Post # 4
Hostess
7564 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I think the couple should pay for it since it’s 100% for the couple.
Post # 5
Member
2823 posts
Sugar bee
We’re paying for our own honeymoon & I would never expect our parents to pay for it.
Post # 6
Member
1403 posts
Bumble bee
We’re paying for everything wedding related since we’re the ones getting married, not our parents.
Post # 7
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
- Wedding: May 2013 - Walt Disney World
I’ve read that it is the groom’s responsibility to pay for the honeymoon (not the groom’s family). We are paying for the entire wedding and honeymoon ourselves so it doesn’t really matter for us.
Post # 8
Member
4680 posts
Honey bee
Unless it’s gifted by someone, the couple should pay for the honeymoon. Traditionally, the groom pays for it anyway.
Post # 9
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
If you want a fancy vacation, I think you should pay for it. Times have changed A LOT over the past generation and much of the traditional ettiquette about who pays for what isn’t followed anymore.
Post # 10
Member
3183 posts
Sugar bee
I think a honeymoon is like any other vacation, whoever is going should pay for it.
Post # 11
Member
5012 posts
Bee Keeper
@ClassyKate: Yes, your future in-laws are correct in telling you off for asking. The old etiquette is based on who traditionally OFFERED to pay for each thing and is utterly obsolete. If you want a honeymoon, you pay for it unless someone else offers.
Post # 12
Member
3887 posts
Honey bee
Asking your parents to pay for your honeymoon is a bit entitled and I can see why they’d react badly to that request.
Post # 13
Member
979 posts
Busy bee
Traditionally, the groom pays, not his family. That’s what were planning on, but we may have to delay it until months after so i can help save some $$ for it.
Post # 14
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
I agree, too bad for you. You should pay for your own honeymoon unless someone else offers. The days of the groom’s side paying for the rehearsal, the alcohol (PS NOT the reception), and the honeymoon are long gone… though the rehearsal is still a common thing the groom’s side often offers to pay for.
Post # 15
Member
1158 posts
Bumble bee
I agree that its your responsibility…If they wanted to pay,they would have offered.
Post # 16
Member
1812 posts
Buzzing bee
I voted that the bride and groom should pay for the honeymoon themselves even though ours was a gift from FI’s parents. There was no expectation that they would gift us such an awesome trip and we would have paid for it ourselves in any other case.
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