Post # 1
First post here, although I’ve been lurking for quite some time. ha ha
So I’ve been debating this subject with my family and friends ever since they found out I was choosing my own engagement ring. I see nothing wrong with this, as I’ll be the one wearing it for the rest of my life and want to be absolutely in love with it! My friends on the other hand cannot imagine picking their own rings, even though they’re pretty specific about what they want.
I’d love to hear about your experiences. Did you choose it yourself? Did your loved one surprise you with it? Did they get help from anyone? Do you love it? If not, how did you handle the situation. Does your SO know how you really feel? Would you exchange it if you could?
I look forward to reading your stories! Feel free to post photos of your lovely e-rings for me to drool over while I wait (im)patiently for my own. 😉
Post # 2
Either way is fine but when the person proposing is choosing they should be choosing something they know the other person wants. I will never understand people who, when told by their SO that they want X (like a gemstone or a certain setting) for their engagement ring, say no I’m getting you this. It’s such a selfish way to go about something that’s supposed to about romance/love!
I helped Fiance shop for my ring. I told him I wanted a sapphire instead of a diamond and picked three settings that I loved and let him pick the final ring (he also picked out the sapphire himself). I absolutely adore my ring and am so happy we went about choosing it the way we did.
Post # 3
I voted, but really I think it is whatever works best for you as a couple. I was not expecting my proposal at all, and we had never discussed rings. He did team up with my best friends to dig and find out what I wanted and liked. I am so oblivious that I never picked up on this! They even sneakily figured our my ring size. I still marvel at how right he got what I would want (down to the 6 prongs on white gold setting!). I love that my ring has a lot of him in it too. So proud of my man!
Post # 4
- Wedding: May 2014 - victoria educational gardens
Some people are old school and are set in those ways. I don’t see anything wrong with looking at rings together. There are so many options out there now days. This way you can give your future fiance so ideas of the styles you like.
My husband asked me to marry him without a ring. Reason being he knows NOTHING about jewelry. He let me pick out my own ring which I was on the hunt after that for the perfect ring. THEN, a couple of weeks after he proposed, he made a post on FB about us being engaged and I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t have THE ring yet! So everyone is asking where’s the ring and of course I didn’t have one 🙁 Then I felt rushed to pick something and I didn’t want to spend alot of money because we were fixing to buy a house. I got on the bee and researched diamond alternatives and rushed to buy one. My husband knew I wanted a diamond but it wasn’t in the budget so he told me I could later upgrade, which I’m working on right now. Don’t get me wrong, I love my ring but I REALLY wanted a pear shape.
Post # 5
I would have loved for my partner to pick out my ring but he has terrible taste in jewellery. I’ve secretly disliked almost every piece of jewellery his given me over almost 10 years so knew i HAD to choose my own ring! Not the most romantic story but my partner and I love my ering so it’s worked out perfectly.
Post # 6
I gave my Fiance a shortlist but happened to note on that list which I liked best. He went for that one, although early on in the process I think he felt he should be spending more than I wanted him to.
To be fair I could have left him to it, because he has excellent taste in jewellery, but I really did fall for the ring I chose so I’m very happy with how it worked out, and he’s happy that I’m happy.
Post # 7
Over the last couple of years I had hinted to my fiance’ about what I liked and didn’t like. For the most part, it was only that I didn’t like the single solitarie diamond and since I have small hands, I didn’t want a HUGE ring.
The ring that he ended up picking was more perfect that I could have ever imagined. I don’t think he could have done any better. My ring feels all the more special because 1 – he picked it out so it’s personal to us both and 2 – I feel like he really knew me well enough to decide what he thought I would love.
Post # 8
My future Fiance wanted to surprise me and was a bit unsure when I asked to have more of a say but he warmed to the idea when he realised how particular I was. Our compromise was that I got to design the setting with all my practical requirements (I work with my hands) and he picked the stone. I haven’t seen any final designs or the ring so there is still some element of surprise but I’m getting something I know I will LOVE and is practical. But as PP’s have said, it’s very couple specific so each to their own.
Post # 9
Oh gosh! I can’t believe people would do that. 🙁 Can you imagine? I think someone who cared that little about how I felt would be a dealbreaker for me… I’m glad you ended up with a ring you love. I work with clients and it always makes me smile when I see an e-ring with a splash of colour or unexpected stone. 😀 Thanks for sharing!
Post # 10
That’s such a sweet story! ^_^ Sounds right out of a movie! 😀 You’re very lucky to have people in your life who know you so well. I don’t think that would ever work with my man though. 😛 He can’t even get me a birthday present on his own! haha I’ve always picked what I wanted and he got it for me. It would be nice for him to take initiative every once in a while, but I won’t complain too much… After all, I’ve never gotten a gift I don’t like! 😉 Love your ring by the way!!! Your man definitly has good taste. 😉
Post # 11
Whatever works for that couple. Some girls like to pick and their SO’s prefer that so they don’t have to do any guesswork. Some people like to be surprised.
Fiance picked my ring, our only thing was no diamonds so he knew I’d like a moissy and he had a general idea of what I liked. He chose something I never would’ve chosen for myself but I absolutely love it
Post # 12
Ideally, the person who will be wearing it. But if the wearer wants the proposer to pick it out, that’s fine too.
Post # 13
I picked my ring but I know plenty of people who didn’t. Both ways are acceptable.
However there are so many stories about surprise engagements and women who don’t end up like their ring. So it makes sense that the woman would have some input.
My finace had me pick my ring because I’m very particular about style. He was afraid to spend that much money on something I wouldn’t like. He did have input into the selection since he paid for it.
Post # 14
I’m sorry to hear that you had to rush like that. Must have been pretty stressful for you. 🙁 I’ve been communicating with this jeweler for over a month now to come up with the perfect ring! I had no idea these things took soo loong. :'( And I know how annoying people can be in the meantime… (I’m at that age when people start comenting on a regular basis about my lack of children. -_-) It get’s tiring to hear the same thing over and over again. I’m actually in a pretty similar situation to you. We’re renting and saving up for a house, and I also went for a diamond alternative, but not because I had to (although it happily fit our budget). I’ve been fascinated about moissanites ever since I heard they came from the sky. 😍 At least your man is open to an upgrade!! 😀 I’m sure someday, when the timing is right, you’ll get the pear shape of your dreams. 😉
Post # 15
I think the perfect scenario, if both people are interested in having input, is to hand the guy 3-5 dream options with no ranking. That way you’ve BOTH picked. This is what I intend to do with SO, although he’d probably prefer me to just tell him exactly what I want. But when I look at the ring, I want to see HIM as well as myself.
And, as always, it depends on the couple. If the guy is 100% uninterested, sure, the girl should pick. If the guy is a jewelry connoisser and he knows what the girl likes, and she wants to be surprised, he should pick.