Post # 1
So my mom and dad divorced when i was three. my mom remarried when i was four to my step dad, but to me he’s my dad, lived with him all but 2 years of my life. My dad was always in the picture for summers, Christmas and Easter, you know the drill. So i am getting married in October and i asked my dad and step dad both to walk me and my real dad hates him so much he refuses to walk with him. What am I supposed to do i really can’t choose one over the other.
Post # 3
Pick whomever you want as it is your wedding. If they can’t be civil for one day, that is not your problem that they are not able or willing to set aside their differences. Since you mentioned that your stepdad is your ‘dad’, then he seems like the logical choice. If that is not an option, then have someone else entirely escort you. Considering that your birth father has that much resentment and hatred toward someone who shouldn’t even concern him, it would be surprising if he did show up, knowing that the other man is in attendance, unless he is the type to cause a scene. You will have to choose someone, be it your stepfather or a neutral party who is close to you.
Post # 4
A friend of mine in a similar situation ended up choosing her brother. You don’t *have* to choose someone (you could walk by yourself, or with your FI) and that someone doesn’t *have* to be male either – what about asking your mother?
I’m disappointed your bio father has so little respect for your step father’s role in your life 🙁 If I wanted one of those men to be the one to walk me down I would probably choose the step father as it sounds like he a) has been very important in your life and b) will show more respect for your decisions.
Post # 5
It’s a bit wisdom-of-solomon, this one – the true mother would rather give the child to the false mother than see it cut in half. It seems like your step-father’s behaving like the true father here.
My parents are divorced, and my mum’s giving me away – as my FI said, she’s the one with the power!
If it would cause less trouble to have neither than pick just one, maybe go with your mum or a sibling/grandparent/uncle.
Post # 6
I am in the same situation, and am walking down the aisle with my FI. I considered having my mom walk me, but my FI was really excited about walking down together, and I liked the idea when he brought it up.
For your situation, I would say to walk with your stepdad. You offered a very sweet, meaningful (to you), and amicable solution. If your biologic father isn’t interested in that, then its his hangup- not yours. Nobody is required to accept an invitation, and he has declined your invitation to join you in your walk down the aisle. Express your regret that he can’t be there for you, and have your stepfather do this. You didn’t choose. Your biologic father excluded himself, so there is no reason for you to feel bad.