Post # 1
I was wondering your opinion. My father died almost 7 years ago and I was very close to him. I’m having my wedding in less than 2 months and this has brought up the question, ‘who should i ask to walk me down the aisle?’
My FI’s father has been like a second father to me the last 6 years, so in my mind and heart, it was a natural choice. Also, I don’t have any other family that I’m close enough with to even consider walking me down.
Anyway, I could tell my mother wasn’t happy about this because she played like she kept ‘forgetting’ and had asked me 5 times about who I’m going to have walk me down. Once, when she was upset about something else, she finally unloaded on me that she’s upset and that I should have my godfather (who I haven’t seen in literally 10 years) walk me down and then she said that she feels left out.
Not to be mean, but my Fiance and I are paying for this wedding and my mother initially came to us with a list of literally 102 of her closest family and friends without even asking us if it’s okay (which I’m sure at least 80% will come), so it irks me that she can even say she feels ‘left out.’
Anyway, I was going to walk down with my FI’s father and have my mother and my future mother in law walk with my Fiance…
Does anyone have an opinion? Thanks for reading 🙂
Post # 3
@Appless14: How about having your mother walk you down the aisle?
Post # 4
I would definately have Future Father-In-Law walk me down not someone i havnt talked to in 10 years. My Fiance will already be on the alter. He’s not walking down the aisle during the ceremony but before the ceremony starts. But you can absolutely do it however you would like! If your jsut trying to include your mother and dont really want her walking with Fiance then tell her to stop being selfish. BAM.
Post # 5
I got goosebumps when I read you wanted to have your Future Father-In-Law walk you. I think that is so sweet.
My father passed away decades ago… and I’m sure your mom is missing him through this and feels strange that someone else (from a different family) is taking the role of her husband.
Would you consider having your mom walk you? If not, stick with the Future Father-In-Law idea…
(I’m having my mom walk me, if that makes any difference. FI’s father passed away a few years ago. I thought about having a few other males in my life walk me (esp when my mom was having a hard time dealing with my wedding)), but ultimately, I’m glad she is walking me…. although, part of me now wishes I would have chosen to walk solo.)
Post # 6
I think its sweet to have your Future Father-In-Law walk you down the aisle. Especially given that you’re close to him. But symbollically it’s really cool. That being said, if you’re close to your madre, you might want to ask her to walk you down the aisle. Your Future Father-In-Law will undoubtedy understand. Then she won’t feel left out and you won’t have to be escorted by a man you don’t feel close to (your godfather).
Post # 7
I think having your Future Father-In-Law whom you’re very close with walk you is VERY appropriate (and sweet). I’m sorry your mother doesn’t see eye to eye with you. My father passed when I was 12 and I’m having his brother, my uncle and godfather, walk me. We are NOT very close at all, but my paternal grandfather passed last year (who I was close with) and so it seems like the appropriate way to include my father’s family and I’m certain this would have been my late grandfather’s wish. My mother will stand when I reach the end of the aisle and present me. HOWEVER, my mother is not very comfortable with my uncle walking me so I understand where you’re coming from. BOTTOM LINE – It is important to do what YOU feel is best. I have and I’ve nearly forgotten that my mother was less than pleased with it. You will too. I love the idea of your Future Father-In-Law walking you.
Post # 8
Why don’t you have your future father in law and your mother walk you down the aisle, one on each side? I’m Jewish so we traditionally have our mother and father walk the bride down and I think it’s so sweet. Why should your mom be left out? She’s very important too!
Post # 9
@sbbridebythesea: Only you can make this decision on what YOU think is right. Many people have their moms walk them down the aisle, so if you and your mom are close, that may be an idea. Also, it is not uncommon for brides to walk solo or together as a couple.
I personally have the same problem, as both my parents have already passed. I have not fully decided how I will do it, but I am leaning towards the following: I will start down the aisle alone and Fiance will begin walking up the aisle towards me, meet me 1/2 way and then we walk together. I like the symbolism for us – we are in our 30’s and I have been on my own for a long time, we live together, etc., so it’s not as if my family is “giving me away” to him. I like the symbolism of us coming together, meeting each other half way, and then walking together. I don’t know that anyone at the wedding would get it, but it is not about them, is it?
Post # 10
I think you should have a heart to heart with your mother. Maybe she wants to walk you down the aisle? Is that her style? If not, then I say go with your Future Father-In-Law. At that time in your life, you want to be with the person that makes you the most comfortable.
I am entertaining the thought of doing the father/daughter dance with my Future Father-In-Law. My father passed away years ago, and I really respect and love my Future Father-In-Law. Some people may think that’s weird, but in the end it really boils down to what you want to do!
Post # 11
the thing is, my mother and I have always butted heads since high school and ever since my father died, it has gotten even a little worse. i love my mother, but having her walk me down just doesn’t seem right and i dunno if that’s because of our relationship or even just because i feel like a man in my life to do it?
i almost feel like i should just walk down alone?
Post # 12
I don’t know how your mother can feel left out, considering you want her to walk your Fiance down the aisle along with his mother. If you like the opposite-gender pairs, your plan sounds like a great way to include all the living parents. Especially if your future Mother-In-Law doesn’t mind sharing this role, I’d stick with the plan if I were you.
My sympathies in having this dilemma. My dad died last year and I finally decided to ask his brother to walk me down the aisle, though we’re not especially close.
Post # 13
@melisma: how does your mom feel about that decision?
thanks for your thoughts 🙂