Post # 1
While a child my stepdad (not legally) raised me. He’s been around since I was about 2 years old. His relationship with my mom was rocky and then when I was 12 they split. Since then, I see him occasionally and though we’re not incredibly close, but I love him and have a lot of gratitude towards him for being my dad when I was a child.
I met my biological father when I was 14. I had a lot of resentment towards him growing up and it took me a long time to get over the fact that he wasn’t involved when I was young. However, he’s made more of an effort to have a relationship with me and we hangout on occasion. He’s my dad, so of course I love him.
My grampa has been there for me every step of my life. I am his first grandchild and I’ve always been “Grampa’s Girl”. It’s hard to describe how much I love and admire him and my gramma, so let’s just say “a lot”. 🙂
My problem is, who walks me down the aisle? In a perfect world where nobody’s feelings would get hurt I would have my just have my grampa do it. However, this isn’t a perfect world and I can’t get over thinking that my stepdad would feel unappreciated and my dad would feel like I’m punishing him or that I’m still angry.
What would you do? Should I just suck it up and have just my grampa walk me down the aisle or have all three of them do it? Is there a way to make having three men walk me down the aisle not look strange? I understand it’s only about 30 seconds out of the whole wedding, but I know they’d all like to “have the honor”. What’s your opinon? Sorry this is so long…
Post # 3
Just have your grandfather do it. It sounds like thats what you really want anyways. Hopefully your dad will understand (he did miss 14 years of your life) and hopefully the stepdad understands because he’s not your real dad (and is no longer in your daily life).
Post # 4
I voted grampa cause he has been there every step of your life. The other two seem to have missed some years.
Post # 5
I think you should have your Grandpa do it too. It’s your day, you can’t worry about everyone else. Also, if you go with Grandpa, you don’t have to choose between your “dads”. Grandpa’s are awesome!
Post # 6
Thanks for the responses, ladies! You guys are right, he’s been there the whole time so he should be the one to give me away. I suppose knew that, but I needed some reinforcement lol! I will have my gpa do it and perhaps try to incorporate other ways for my dads to be involved.
Post # 7
I vote grandpa, but if you want all three I have seen some people have their “fathers” (because of step-dads etc.) each take a point on the aisle and take turns walking the bride from point to point (handing her off at each point). I think you could make that work if you really want to.
Post # 8
If you want to involve all three, you could have your biological Dad start, hand you off to your stepdad, then he hands you off to your Grandpa. The “Dads” could each do about 1/4 of the aisle and Grandpa the remaining half.
Post # 9
Definitely Grandpa – but just to make sure feelings aren’t hurt, definitely try to talk to both your dad and stepdad to let them know that you really appreciate what they have done in your life and you’re happy to have them there on your big day. Do you think you’ll include them in other ways like speeches, etc?
Post # 10
It is easier said then done, but just do whatever it is that feels right.
I have a dad who I am not very close to, and a step-dad who I am closer to.
I considering having them both do it, but in the end, I decided to do what felt right and I am having my mom walk me down the aisle. 🙂
Post # 11
@6598731ssfse3: Definitely your Grandfather! Your heart may never rest easy on any other decision. However, my suggestion would be to honor your dads at some portion of the ceremony. In my church ceremony, my fiance and I would be presenting roses to our moms to honor their contributions to our lives while the vocalist sings Ave Maria.
Maybe you could do something similar where their impact on your life is highlighted. I would think it’s an honor that you carved out a minute of your ceremony just for them!
Post # 12
I voted for your Grandpa but if you wanted to try to avoid hurt feelings you could have each of them walk you 1/3 of the way down the aisle. Step-dad starts then passes you off to your dad who passes you off to your Grandpa (Grandpa would then finish and “give you away”).