Post # 1
So, I’d love some opinions… or stories of who walked you or a family member down the aisle!
Backstory: My beloved dad died when I was 13. I have two brothers. One will be at the wedding; the other can’t come, for disfunctional reasons of his own. (He was totally invited, but… nevermind, it’s complicated.)
My wedding party consist of all children: my two nieces, ages 5 and 8 (the 8-year-old is the apple of my eye, and she’s my official Maid of Honor; the 5 year old is flower girl); my own daughter, age 2, who will ring a bell, or perhaps just howl for mama all down the aisle ( ;-); and then my husband’s niece and nephew, ages 10 and 7 (he will carry the groom’s ring, she will be another flower girl, I think).
I definitely love my brother who will be there, and we certainly are important to one another — but we aren’t exactly close as most people would define it. I mean, we don’t have such an open-chatty relationship. He’s quite quiet and very much reserved, emotionally. My initial thought was just to romp down the aisle with all the kids. It’s outdoor, so we could just ramble down, all in a tumble, maybe hand in hand. My fiance, meanwhile, said maybe we should just walk up the aisle together.
Any thoughts? Any personal experiences? And warnings about the logistics of any of these scenarios?
THANK YOU, BEES!!!!!!
Post # 3
I voted for with your Fiance, because that’s what I’m hoping to do 🙂
Traditionally Dad would walk Daughter down the aisle and ‘give’ her to her new Husband. Like some sort of twisted business transaction. Obviously no one is giving you away, literally or figuratively, in your case. 🙂 So I feel like you and Fiance can come down the aisle together, part of your journey in your new life that you’re beginning TOGETHER!
The kids were my second (and very close) choice. I’d say it could definitely be fun, since your wedding is pretty kiddy-friendly to begin with 🙂
Post # 4
I voted for your Fiance.
My Fiance is going to meet me half way… We’re in this together, my dad’s an idiot & it just feels right 🙂
Post # 5
I really hate the ‘giving away’ tradition, but I always expected my father to walk me down the aisle because it would have made him so happy. However, he died a few years ago, and now my mum wants my uncle to do it. He and his daughter have a very bad relationship, and she refused to walk down the aisle with him out of spite. I feel strongly torn by this issue and need some time to sort it all out!
However, in your situation, I love the idea of the kids escorting you because I think it would be unique and joyful. I’ve never seen anyone else enter the ceremony like this, so it would probably stick in people’s minds. You also walk to the front as a single girl and leave with your new husband as a married woman.
Just my thoughts.^^
Post # 6
Why not walk alone? Soak it all in as you walk down the aisle.
Post # 7
I am leaning toward saying to have your brother walk you down the aisle. I see its not a popular decision and I know you’re not super close with him but I like the idea of someone you’ve grown up with “giving you away” to your hubby. I think even though he’s not an emotional person he will be honored and touched to be asked. Its a huge deal! And I love the idea of the groom waiting for you at the end of the aisle, just looking at you and your beauty as you walk closer, aaaaaw!
Post # 8
I have an idea of what you mean by your relationship with your brother being not pally-pally, that’s similar to mine. But you also say that you do love each other, and this may be something that would really mean a lot to him.
Do you have any idea if he’s thinking/expecting that you might ask him?
Post # 9
I like the symbolism of walking down the aisle single and leaving with your husband, which is why I’d say no to walking with your fiance. Although maybe walk half way alone and have him meet you? Otherwise I think having the kids walk you is cool.
Post # 10
I didn’t vote because I think you should consider walking down the aisle by yourself! A friend did this and all I thought was “wow”.
Post # 11
I like the idea of your fiance walking you down the aisle. I love that you are so close with your niece, how sweet! That’s really cool that she’s your Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 12
I think you should think about walking by yourself as well. I can just imagine some mad chaos with a bunch of kids and you in a dress trying to get down the aisle!
Post # 13
first of all, i LOVE it that you all have taken the time to write me such thoughtful answers!
each answer is eloquent enough to make me think, “yes! THIS is what i’ll do!” so now i have a lot of food for thought.
i guess if i think about it, maybe i like the idea of my fiance waiting for me up at the front. … so i’m walking towards him, as a destination, kinda 🙂
on the one hand, i love the idea of walking with the kids. it would be chaos. and i’m not sure how i’d carry a bouquet at the same time… but the idea is happy to me.
on the other hand, it’s true, it would mean a lot to my brother. exactly because we don’t do this sort of demonstration of affection, it might be all the more meaningful. hmmm.
PS: i kind of hate standing up in front of people, to talk or perform in any way — so that’s why i don’t think i’d want to walk alone. it would make me nervous! i think i’ll feel less nervous/embarrassed with someone by my side.
Post # 14
I’m also not voting, but I’ll share with you what I plan to do. My dad died when I was four, and I always assumed that my mom would walk me down the aisle. Unfortunately, after surviving breast cancer, she succumbed to pancreatic cancer back in 2005. When she was alive, mom was a HUGE Queen fan, going so far as to join the European fan club despite living in Illinois. So, in her honor, I’m walking down the aisle to Queen. Even though she won’t be with me physically, I won’t be walking down the aisle alone.
Post # 15
I would pick the brother. Even though you are not close but like you said you love each other. As long as there is sibling love, I think it would mean a lot to both of you if he were to walk you down the aisle (unless you really just don’t want to.) I have one brother who I am close to, and he’s actually my Man of Honor, and one brother who I am not so close to, but still love. I think if I don’t have my father or the brother that I am close to available to walk me down the aisle, I’d still pick the brother whom I am not close to to walk down the aisle. He is still the man of the “family” and I wouldn’t consider him any less. This is just my personal view on it. 🙂
Post # 16
how about your mother and your brother together?
I personally think the idea of your brother being involved is very sweet. You don’t have to be the closest siblings in the world, but he is your brother. And as fun as walking down with the kids could be, this is a pretty special moment as you are walking to your soon to be husband, and it would be nice for you to be able to savor it (which might be hard with all the kids at your side!)