Post # 1
We need some help figuring out who should be invited to our wedding reception. We had a small destination wedding and are now planning our at-home reception for all of the rest of our family and friends. Before wedding planning, we had always thought that you were supposed to invite anyone who invited you to their wedding. Is this true? What if you haven’t spoken to the people in a few years? What if you had been friends but now the extent of your relationship is commenting every so often on Facebook? Space isn’t an issue, but we don’t want to seem like we’re just inviting people to get gifts. We were thinking it might be a nice way to get back in touch with people we were once close to, but aren’t sure how this will be perceived. Thoughts?
Post # 3
You definitely don’t need to invite anyone just because they invited you to their wedding!
I’ve heard a lot of ‘rules of thumb’ before – if you haven’t spoken to them in the past year/if you can’t name their significant other/umm…. I can’t actually think of any others.
If you’re worried about offending, I’d say pick something with a pinpointable cut off (like the one year thing) and then stick to it. That way if someone is offended, you can gently explain that you couldn’t invite everyone, and so decided to cut the list off at xyz.
Post # 4
Honestly, I’m going with the rule that if it upsets me to think that they won’t be there, I probably need to invite them. My parents friends are like family to me, more than my actual extended family, so I’ll invite them and more than likely not invite my extended family. Well, actually, my grandmother would FLIP so she’ll probably make me invite them.
Post # 5
Honestly if I got a wedding invtie from a facebook friend from years ago I would be offended and think that they were gift grabbing and I would decline!
For some reason I just don’t think a wedding is a time to reunite with old friends – if you reunite with them before hand and then invite them to the wedding I think it would be more appropriate!
Post # 6
No – you don’t need to invite someone just because they invited you to theirs.
No – you don’t need to invite someone just because you have a Facebook friend relationship.
I agree with the above poster… I am inviting people who I cannot imagine not being at my wedding. If I could care less (being frank here) then why worry?
Post # 7
Thanks everyone. Sometime when I was younger it got drilled into my head that it was some horrible breach of etiquette if you didn’t invite everyone who invited you to their wedding (I have no idea where this came from), and I didn’t want people to feel offended if they later found out they weren’t invited. But in so many cases it just didn’t seem to make sense when we don’t even know where some of these people live anymore. Thanks for the advice!