Who should you include at hair and makeup?

posted 2 months ago in Logistics
  • poll: Should I include my MIL?
    Yes : (19 votes)
    53 %
    No : (17 votes)
    47 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    129 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I definitely am not inviting my Future Mother-In-Law. I think that the morning or should be spent with bridesmaids and my mom. I would feel the most comfortable this way and honestly I don’t like my Future Mother-In-Law and I have my whole life to try to have a relationship with her and I want to be a little bit selfish on my wedding day by not subjecting myself to her drama and negative comments….

    Post # 17
    Member
    746 posts
    Busy bee

    My Future Mother-In-Law didn’t even get make up and hair get ready with her own daughter (it was just bridesmaids, but I’m sure she saw the bride the morning of and made sure she’s fine etc). 

    I would invite my Future Mother-In-Law to get ready along wit my mum if I have no bridesmaids. If I do have one I don’t think I’ll invite Future Mother-In-Law. Cos I only booked for 3 people (the minimum). But I think it’s a nice gesture to show that you see Future Mother-In-Law as part of your own family. Certainly I don’t see there should be expectations or hard feelings about it though.

    Post # 18
    Member
    506 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I think it’s pretty uncalled for for your bridesmaid to call you out on it, make you feel bad, then insist you can’t rectify it. What was the purpose of her doing that? Cause all it achieved was making you feel bad.

    Fmil already had her appointments booked – SHE clearly didn’t expect an invite.

    Post # 19
    Member
    1666 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

    I included my mother and his mother, our grandmothers, 6 bridesmaids and 1 maid of honour and 2 flower girls

    Post # 20
    Member
    131 posts
    Blushing bee

    I only had my bridesmaids and mum there. It would be strange to include your Mother-In-Law here. 

    Post # 21
    Member
    10266 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    It can obviously be a convenient or generous offer, but there is absolutely no etiquette obligation to do this, nor is it universal. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    149 posts
    Blushing bee

    Every wedding I’ve been in the Mother-In-Law was included. I’m including mine as well. We are getting ready at our ceremony/reception site so I don’t expect her to stay the whole time as she will have family there but she will come and get her hair and make up done with us. 

    Post # 23
    Member
    343 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2019

    I asked a similar question a while ago and the majority told me I didn’t have to invite her so I think it’s funny that the tables have turned. 

    She’s not your mother. You don’t have to invite her. I’m not having my Future Mother-In-Law in my bridal suite because she has a very negative energy and I want only my mother and bridesmaids around me. This is one of the reasons I didn’t ask my Future Sister-In-Law to be in the wedding. I didn’t want my Future Mother-In-Law to be able to insert herself into my space. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    10266 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    In fact, no matter how prevalent this has become, mostly for the sake of the obligatory getting ready photo ops, there is no responsibity to pay for or provide services to bridesmaids, either.

    Again, it can be a generous offer, but in reality bridesmaids are not obligated to use the brides’s vendors or any at all. That is true even if the bride is willing to pay. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    129 posts
    Blushing bee

    stunnerrunner :  I agree so much with your words. I think it’s silly when brides invite people they don’t want around because it’s “family” or for the sake of being inclusive and keeping the peace. It’s YOUR wedding. Your one wedding. Invite who YOU want there and don’t include people who will make you unhappy, uncomfortable or stressed. If anyone feels they have a right to dictate who should spend the morning of your wedding with you, they’re pretty unreasonable IMO 

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