(Closed) Who signs our ketubah?

posted 7 years ago in Jewish
Post # 3
Member
3982 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

If your asking me, yes. But Mr. Hedgie and I are interfaith to begin with so he has his rabbi, his jewish brother and him sign while I had my minister, my christian Maid/Matron of Honor and me sign. So as far as I am concerned that would be fine. However, I do understand that since both of you are Jews, for it to be legally binding under jewish law, the witnesses must be jewish. You could have family members form both sides witness for the other person (IE, his side witnesses for you and your side witnesses for him.) My Mother-In-Law had her BIL witness for her and according to their Rabbi it was still legal and binding.

Post # 5
Member
5890 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2012

conservative and orthodox jews would never accept this as valid, but some reform communities might (UBER reform).  i guess it depends on what you care about- do you care that the jewish community recognize you as married?  if you are getting married by a rabbi, i would ask him/her.

Post # 6
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Our rabbi told us that the 2 people who sign our Ketubah had to be jewish and could not be related to us.  You should check with your rabbi and see what they say about it.

Post # 7
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

My sister had a non-Jewish friend witness her signing the Ketubah and her husband’s brother also witnessed so that breaks both rules. It’s up to how your rabbi interprets the law.  Hopefully you won’t have too much trouble 🙂

Post # 8
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Our rabbi told us the witnesses have to self-identify as Jewish (we are not orthodox, so she is not enforcing maternal lineage and all that), can’t be related to either of us or to eachother.  Blood relatives and relatives be marriage count the same and she wouldn’t let us have each-others relatives as witnesses, but I’ve seen that interpreted differently, so you have to ask your rabbi.  Our rabbi told us that my second-cousin was sufficiently distantly related to not count as “related” for the ketubah signing.  Only two witnesses are needed, so she is acting as one and my second-cousin as the other.  Do you have any distant cousins attending that you could ask your rabbi about?

Post # 9
Member
25 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Depends on how religious your ceremony is.  We are having an orthodox ceremony, and on top of the witnesses not being related, they also have to be religious (re shomer shabbat) and male.  This was hard for us because none of our friends are religious, so we ended up compromising and using our rabbi and one of my parents friends that has known us both since we were little.  Our rabbi told us he needs to interview them to make sure they are on board with our ceremony and can sufficiently witness.  It was kind of a surprise.

Post # 10
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Traditionally, the witnesses must be sabbath observing Jewish men. Of course, this contemplates them having to testify at a beit din (religious tribunal) at your (G-d forbid) divorce. I suspect that this will never come into play. So, consider the witness role to be an honor you grant to a trusted friend. If so, choose based on friendship rather than religious heritage.

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