(Closed) Who stands under the chuppah?

posted 6 years ago in Jewish
Post # 3
Member
9 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

My stepmother and father were under the chuppah, and not my mom, but our situation was different from yours. Your father is being unreasonable and your mom is being magnanimous.

I’d have them all if it’s ok with them all. If you wanna exclude your father’s wife, then try to get the rabbi to take the blame.

Maybe tell your father that step-mom is important but the wedding is attended by important people you love, most of whom won’t be under the chuppah.

Post # 4
Member
1 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2012

There’s really no easy way to deal with things like this. My best advice would be to think about what would ultimately make you feel happy and comfortable while you’re standing under the chuppah. Once you figure that out, discuss it with your rabbi and work with them to figure out how to deal with each parent’s issues/apprehensions. 

I wish you the best of luck with this. Just remember that this will be figured out and in the end you will have an amazing day to start an incredible life. MAZEL TOV!

Post # 5
Member
803 posts
Busy bee

What do you want? Do you feel like your stepmother played the role of a second mother to you growing up, and do you want her there? It’s about how you feel and what you want, not the petty squabbles your parents have. 

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