Post # 1
Ok, this is my first post on here, but I’m looking for some advice. My parents divorced when I was pretty young and my father remarried shortly after (when I was about 9 or so). I lived with my mother growing up but did spend a lot of time with my dad and stepmother. My parents don’t really get along and of course the wedding is causing more conflict…the current big debate with who gets to stand under the chuppah and when/how they get there. Everyone has actually agreed that my mom and dad are walking me down the aisle – but my dad insists my stepmother be up under the chuppah (going as far to say he’d rather have no one under there then not have her next to him!) and my mom feels she shouldn’t be (but is at this point willing for her to be up there for some portion). Has anyone else been in a similar situation? What did you do?
Post # 3
My stepmother and father were under the chuppah, and not my mom, but our situation was different from yours. Your father is being unreasonable and your mom is being magnanimous.
I’d have them all if it’s ok with them all. If you wanna exclude your father’s wife, then try to get the rabbi to take the blame.
Maybe tell your father that step-mom is important but the wedding is attended by important people you love, most of whom won’t be under the chuppah.
Post # 4
There’s really no easy way to deal with things like this. My best advice would be to think about what would ultimately make you feel happy and comfortable while you’re standing under the chuppah. Once you figure that out, discuss it with your rabbi and work with them to figure out how to deal with each parent’s issues/apprehensions.
I wish you the best of luck with this. Just remember that this will be figured out and in the end you will have an amazing day to start an incredible life. MAZEL TOV!
Post # 5
What do you want? Do you feel like your stepmother played the role of a second mother to you growing up, and do you want her there? It’s about how you feel and what you want, not the petty squabbles your parents have.