(Closed) Who stopped “trying” and got BFP?

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@Bao: We got pregnant our first month really trying to conceive and didnt’ do any of that, except for paying attention to my cycle and noting when my most fertile days would be.  Mind you I did have a fairly regular cycle to go by.  We DTD 2x during my fertile days (we spend weekdays apart) and it happened!  I think some of that other stuff is really unnecessary at the very beginning of trying and sounds like its just stressing you out.  It isn’t unusual that it wouldn’t happen the first time.  I think each given cycle even if you have sex while ovulating, its like a 33% chance you will get a BFP.  I can understand doing this if it doesn’t work for a few months or you have irregular cycles so no idea of when you might ovulate.  But for a couple of months, I think you should just relax and enjoy!  Baby dust to you!

Post # 4
5148 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

“I think each given cycle even if you have sex while ovulating, its like a 33% chance you will get a BFP.”

It’s actually about a 20% chance.

Post # 6
1120 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Well, I kinda knew what my fertile days were just by doing period math, but we didn’t use any of the methods that I read about here from people actively trying(except maybe for not going to the bathroom right after). It would have been difficult to NOT have sex on my fertile days since my hormones were through the roof and the sex drive was just there, naturally (and I mean, morning, evening and night sex for those few days, Darling Husband was a bit tired).

It worked right away for us; and I realize that we were very lucky that my body was so cooperating in not missing the fertile days and to have a sticky baby right away.

But yes, it is possible to get pregnant without all the methods and stress of “actively trying”. I also think that for the first few months, it’s probably better to try this way, since it’s less stressful and in a supersticious way, I think stress reduces your chances of getting pregnant. So I’d go for it and if that doesn’t work, then start the charting and etc.

Post # 8
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I know there are at least two recent Bees here who got pregnant when they decided to stop trying. Most people I know, when they stopped trying to get every single thing perfect, and it just happened. Maybe relaxation was a factor I have no clue, but once the “try” factor was taken out of the equation, nature took it’s course.

I know people hate hearing that, but it’s true.

Post # 9
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Bao: Isn’t TTC the pits?  I only did it one month and I am done.  I can’t control something I can’t control.  Darling Husband and I agreed to just “do it” and not worry about the rest.  The hardest part I think, is that it is such a big decision, once you decide and it doesn’t instantly happen, you have to readjust.  I either want to plan a life without kids, or with them and have them right when I chose.  Too bad it doesn’t work that way!  I have gotten to a place where I (in general with all things in life) prepare for what I want, and let go.  What works out is meant to be.  If I constantly worry about this I will go nuts.

It really is hard that it is such a big choice, and once you chose, that doesn’t mean you can instantly have it.  Sigh.  Such is life, right?

Post # 11
1701 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

In some ways this happened for us. 

I thought I ovulated one week, so then we stopped trying.  We did do BD a couple times the next week, and actually that was actually when I ovulated and it happened.  (I had a temp rise from drinking the week before and I thought it was my O).  I do think the whole ‘not trying’ thing is a great idea, as trying can drive you crazy.  I wanted to stop trying but I was too obsessed and couldn’t.  So, my charting mistake in some ways was the only way for us to stop trying…..by accident.

Post # 12
1275 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

Can I let you know in two weeks?!  We’re on to cycle nine this month but I’m having some dental work done so we’re kinda on hold until most of it’s done.

I’m still charting (just to stay in the habit) and we’re gonna get it on a couple of times in the week leading up to O, but apart from that we’re on hold.

Post # 13
618 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I don’t know if it’s that we stopped trying, but we stopped trying as much. I was temping, had been for a year, and using the CBEFM. Well, October came and went—with a perfect scenario of low fertility, high fertility, peak fertility, Hubby home, temp rise, ovulation pains, etc. Then, my period came in November. I decided to stop temping and just use the monitor as my ‘guide’. Well, we fast forward to CD 24 and I’ve received my 14th day of high fertility, no peak, no ovulation pains, nothing. I was so fed up. I decided on that 24th CD to test and lo and behold, we had our BFP. Now, I wonder if I had just kept temping if I would have noticed it earlier or what. It helped us when I didn’t focus so much on it.

Post # 14
1145 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

On our third cycle in we decided to relax a bit and not try so hard.  Although I was not temping I was monitoring CM and my fertile window and made sure we got plenty of BD’ing in there.  The month we took “off” from that was really one I would have prefered not to get pregnant in due to work stuff, but sure enough in the one time we BD’d that month we got our BFP!  I think lack of stress may have played into it because it was just off my radar. 

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