(Closed) Who "takes care" of your household?

posted 7 years ago in Home
  • poll:

    Me - SO/FI/DH wouldn't know where to find the kitchen or the broom...

    We have a balance - 50/50!

    SO/FI/DH takes care of me!

    Other... (please explain)

  • Post # 17
    Member
    9051 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    View original reply
    @squigglybaby:  I kind of get the “offensive” part.  Not because I think being a maid is undignified or something, but just because I’d find it annoying that his perspective is that if you want things 50-50, YOU should do your 50%, and the maid do his 50%, because even with hired help, you KNOW there’s going to be stuff to do in between.

     

    Same as I feel about cooking.  He’s supposed to cook dinner one of the days that he’s off that I work (I work mon-Fri, he works 4 on, 4 off).  If he orders in, or serves up leftovers from the previous night on his one day, I find it a little annoying, since I feel like that “help” should help the person who does the majority.

     

    Post # 18
    Member
    904 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    I do 99% of the cooking, and in return he does 99% of the dishes.  He hates dishes, but I simply cannot motivate him to cook on a regular basis (even though he’s a decent cook), so that’s the trade-off.  We split all other chores/cleaning 50/50.

    Post # 19
    Member
    25 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @squigglybaby:  I made the mistake of making the statement early on ” I will take care of the inside of the house and you take care of the outside and the trash” So he would bring that up playfully when I asked for him to fold laundry. Since I work fulltime just as he does, I do expect him to help. Which he does, he throws trash out, grocery shops, does the fixing of things, yard work etc. And also picks up after himself, which in itself is a huge help.  But things like cleaning the bathroom are strictly my job as mowing is strictly his. You just have to find what works for you. I think how you were raised may play into what each of you expects from one another. Just make sure it’s talked about and established before marriage so that it doesn’t become a bigger problem in the future than it needs to be. Hoped that helped!!

    Post # 20
    Member
    558 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I do about 65% of the cleaning, and 85% of the cooking, right now.  But my Fiance has some health conditions that are often disabling, and frankly, I’m more houseproud than he is.  He really wants to be my sexy Russian househusband, though, which I find sweet, and he tries really hard to do the stuff I find odious.  We have a third roommate living with us, a dear mutual friend, and she picks up a good number of the household chores, especially vacuuming and the dishes.  I do the majority of the deep cleaning, and I cook all the fancy meals.  When my Fiance is feeling better, he picks up more cleaning and cooking, but I don’t bank on it because I don’t want him to hurt himself over something I can just as easily do.

    I really think it all boils down to finding a balance that works for you, and making sure everybody’s tics about cleanliness and food is met.  I have really high standards of cleanliness in the kitchen, so I tend to do more of that than anything else in order to soothe my neuroses about it.  But my Fiance understands my loathing of clutter, and he goes out of his way to accomodate that, and to make sure I never have to put away laundry.  It works for us.

    Post # 21
    Member
    2073 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I do most house related things although we have a housekeeper who comes every three weeks to do major cleaning. Husband pays all the bills but otherwise I handle cooking, dishes, laundry, etc. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    424 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I do most of the cooking and he does most of the clean up.  I do all of the laundry and he takes out the trash.  We do have a maid who comes in every other week to deep clean and a helper who does a good bit of the ironing.

    Post # 23
    Member
    514 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @squigglybaby:  I do everything. Your Fiance and mine sound like twins. He is pretty darn lazy, let me tell you. I also take care of all of our bills/finances. I love him and have a natural mothering instinct, but I wish he could at least get his dishes/clothes in the right spot!

    Post # 24
    Member
    2868 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    We take turns on most things. I do the grocery shopping and I deal with dinner if he is working (off at 11pm) but he will cook if he’s off that evening (rare).  He works a lot so I should do more around the house than I do… lol.  I tidy the house up every day, which includes picking up all his frickin’ beer bottles that he leaves around the house.  We both do laundry; I do it more, although the clothes are 90% his due to his two jobs and working every day of the week.  He takes out the trash, but I usually put the recycling out for our neighbor to pick up to cash in.  I feed the dog and cat, take the dog out or walk her, and clean the cat’s litterbox.  Deeper cleaning depends, he randomly scrubbed the sh*t out of the bathroom the other day, I sometimes vacuum, but we also have cleaners come every other month to deep clean the house. 

    FI’s sister currently lives with us, so she does all our dishes as her “rent,” which is amazing.

    I am completely in charge of our finances.

    Post # 25
    Member
    11268 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    i do all of the cooking and 99% of the dishes/cleaning kitchen.  i also do all of the laundry.  i do the every day tidying, make bed and dusting.  we share the vacuuming, washing the floors and the bathrooms.  he does the showers and most of the yard work.   he also brings me a tea in bed every morning. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    2437 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    @squigglybaby:  I would say that he does 70 percent of the cleaning and cooking.  I do cook and clean, but he is a neat freak and loves to cook. 🙂

    Post # 27
    Member
    2948 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 1998

    I do everything however I also dont work so it’s how I feel it should be and I’m defiantly not complaining either- well it would be nice for a day off heehehe!

    Post # 28
    Member
    6739 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply
    @squigglybaby:  that is frustrating when guys change their behavior once they get comfortable!  but i think it’s natural in a relationship.  i bet there are things you do differently now, too.  although, at least he’s ok w/ hiring a maid!  some guys don’t like that!

    Post # 29
    Member
    738 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I have had to seriously fight my Fiance to get him to help out around the house. He was married before and she was a Stay-At-Home Mom so he is used to not having to do that stuff. However, I am the primary bread winner and I bust my ass at work – I think 50/50 would at least me nice. I’m getting mad just thinking about it!

    Post # 30
    Member
    4145 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    we both cook. I wash the dishes, Fiance dries.

    As for cleaning – we have a cleaner come every 2 weeks. BEST THING EVER!

    We each do our own laundry – but we’ll ask the other if they have anything they want to throw in with it.

    Post # 31
    Member
    4304 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Chores are mostly split. I do most of the cooking. He works 6 days a week at least 60 hours, so I don’t mind.

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