(Closed) Who throws the bridal shower?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I think usually the Maid/Matron of Honor takes the reigns but it doesn’t mean your sister cannot contributie or take over if noone has started on it. I think you can be involved in this process if you want to or leave it up to them. In my case, my mother and my Father-In-Law hosted the bridal shower and it was a surprise so I had no say as to what was going to happen as the shower.

Don’t stress and good luck.

Post # 4
Member
79 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

yeah my moh isn’t my sister either. however it is the Maid/Matron of Honor responsibility to plan it and since your sister is apart of the wedding party and she’s your sister, she should/could help 🙂

Post # 5
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Well, if you want to get technical, family members are not supposed to throw showers, but that is ignored a lot these days.  I say your Maid/Matron of Honor should do it if she wants to, and your sister should call her and ask if she’s planning one, can she help, and if the Maid/Matron of Honor can’t handle the shower your sister should go ahead with it.  IMO your instinct to stay out of it is right on. 

Post # 6
Member
946 posts
Busy bee

I wasn’t the Maid/Matron of Honor or a sister, just a bridesmaid, but I threw a shower for my best friend.  It was just something I felt compelled to do.  We had it at her aunts house, and it was a lot of fun.

Post # 7
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

My mother is throwing it for me  :o)  My mother asks me for a lot of input even though she has the final say.  My Boyfriend or Best Friend is getting married and us girls (all her BMs) are throwing her shower.

Post # 9
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Maid/Matron of Honor (my sister) is throwing me one. Future Mother-In-Law is throwing me one. I think another Bridesmaid or Best Man will be throwing me a third one (oh my gosh) and I will be paying for it secretly. Long story.

Post # 10
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think bridal showers can happen up to 3 months in advance. MOH’s shower is in June, I’m getting married in September. Not sure about when we’re sending invitations though, maybe a month before?

Post # 11
Member
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

To be very technical its actually the brides aunt who is suppose to throw it….althought its super nice if anyone does!

Post # 12
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

My wedding is Oct 1st…my mother insisted the shower be the 2nd week of July.  She actually wanted a June date but the place was booked – I think July is super early for an Oct wedding!  My Boyfriend or Best Friend is getting married end of July and her shower is at the end of May.  I say end of April or May would be good for your date – invites should go out about a month before

Post # 13
Member
2856 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

@Hourieg – that is usually the time frame but I don’t think there is any hard and fast rules requiring you to have it during that time frame. My shower was in the middle of July for my Sept. 5 wedding. I think you can send out the invite maybe a month in advance. I am not sure how early my Mom did it but I am pretty sure it wasn’t more than 2 months in advance.

Post # 14
Member
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

well i think that the Maid/Matron of Honor and BMs have that responsibility. however, i totally understand what you mean because you don’t want to be like “hey plan my shower, lets go!” but you have to make it known at the same time who will be responsible. thank goodness my Maid/Matron of Honor is my cousin and she really took control. i’m planning the whole wedding myself so i really didn’t want to be involved in planning the shower – i wanted one element of surprise to all of this lol. i had a long engagement and had talked to my BMs way in advance about them contributing to the planning of the shower – i don’t even know how i initiated that but it was surprisingly casual and went very well. however down the road when my Maid/Matron of Honor contacted all of them to start helping out they freaked out (they don’t that i know that, but my bridal party also includes my sister and 2 cousins so they told me how my friends reacted because they really didn’t know what to do). they didn’t want to contribute the money to the shower which frustrated me just because they knew about it 2 years ago, so i didn’t think that like $150 over the course of 2 years would be such a huge deal. plus, i would totally expect if i was a Bridesmaid or Best Man to be involved in that process. unfortunately, i don’t think BMs are always aware of what their duties are and so it makes things very sticky when you have BMs that don’t take the initiative themselves to understand that before they accept. anyway, they are contributing but less than what was needed and so my mom ended up contributing quite a bit of money to the shower to take the stress off of my Maid/Matron of Honor a bit.

it was pretty hurtful though because they questioned my parents’ contributions when they were arguing about having to pay for anything. i thought that was rude and frankly not their business. maybe i’m wrong, but if you guys saw the conversations you would understand their attitudes about throwing this for me was pretty hurtful and unexpected (i’ve been very close friends with these girls since elementary school).

Post # 16
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I think it should just be anyone who wants to. I hate all these rules about family not being able to, and only the Maid/Matron of Honor should coordinate it. I think it’s silly.

I would stay out of it until anyone brings it up. Technically, it’s not required by anyone, so see if anyone volunteers. It will come up eventually, and if no one brings it up, I’m sure your mom will get the ball rolling 🙂 Mom’s LOVE showers, especially for their own daughters:)

My sister was my Maid/Matron of Honor, and her and my mom threw one for me. I wasn’t even expecting one, but they did and it was lovely. It was six months before the wedding because I live out of state, and it was the only time I could get to my hometown.

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