(Closed) Who to choose??

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

The girls I chose to be my bridesmaids are the ones that ahve the most meanig in my life. They are the ones that have been with my through think and thin and will support me in my marriage.  I didnt go by who is a blood relative, I went by meaning. Hope it helps you some 🙂 I would let the girls go ahead and have a party for you tho. Y should you miss out on it because the other girls dont feeling like planning one? This is something you only get to do once in a life time. Enjoy it to its fullest potential!


p.s. I couldnt choose who to be my Maid/Matron of Honor so they are all equal. I didnt want to have to deal with "why did she get picked in not me?" stuff. It should be a celebration of the begining of a new life together, not a whos the most popular.

Post # 4
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Choose: 1, 3, D and E

 Just kidding.     I agree with sc8493 pick bridesmaids who have the most meaning in your life. — Take a minute and write down everyone’s names on a piece of paper. Look at the paper and really think about the girls who have proven themselves to you in the past, who you know will be there for you while you plan, and who you can see being a part of your future. 

I went through the whole "I can’t pick one and not the other two" thing as well – and I ended up picking one, and it was hard – but worth it.  Think about the actual "duty" of a bridesmaid — they are not only a close friend, but they are someone who stands next to you as you declare your love for your husband — it’s not a popularity contest but rather who you want next to you on what will be one of the most important moments of your life. 


Good luck!

Post # 5
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I agree with humarock – how "close" you are to someone, whether they are family, and what they said when you got engaged has not got much to do with whether they should be a bridesmaid.  It’s an honor, but it’s also a job.  What the job entails depends on how much help you need.  Maybe you mostly need a couple of girls to be there the whole week of the wedding to help fetch and carry and organize, assemble centerpieces, and such.  Maybe you need them throughout a few months to help make invitations, programs, etc.  Maybe you’re basically hiring everything done for you, so you really just need some good moral support – someone to be there on the phone or email with the patience to listen to and sympathize with your monogrammed napkin dilemmas or wedding nightmares. 

My sister was my Maid/Matron of Honor, and since she travels a lot for work, has a new baby, and lives several states away, her help and support was almost all by phone and email – but it was very real, and was wonderful to have.  If she had made it clear that she wasn’t excited for me and didn’t intend to help out at all, I don’t think I would have burdened her with the position.  After all, at a minimumn your BMs have to select, purchase, and wear something specific (for most weddings), and will have a lot more to do the day before (rehearsal) and the day of the wedding than they would if they were just a guest.  If they are not up for that, then it’s probably better to let them celebrate with you as a guest.

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