(Closed) Who to invite at work?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

I was in the same situation. I have an E.D., and an A.D. and three co-workers (yes, it’s a small office). But we have another office that we often do work with and I had to invite four people (and some of their husbands). I was relieved when some of the second office didn’t r.s.v.p. I ended up inviting everyone because I read that when you work in a small office, if you invite one, you should invite all, HOWEVER, I feel like the only person that it’s really pc to invite is your boss(es).  If you don’t spend a lot of time w/ them(the other two coworkers) and barely speak, then why invite them? That’s basically money you’re sepending on people you don’t know very well and don’t speak to that often. I invited all of my co-workers because I have known them all for a while now and we speak outside of work too. I say, do what you think is right and what you’re most comfortable with. If you’re the kind of person that’s going to feel bad about not extending them an invitation, then just invite them. It’s way easier than spending a lot of time bouncing back and forth saying should I or shouldn’t I? You never know, they may not even come.

Post # 4
344 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I have about 80 people in my office and while everyone asks about the wedding, we decided to only invite the people we socialize with outside of work, and our bosses (who we hang out with), plus a few extras who I feel very close with (even if they aren’t the partying type). My fiance works for the government, so that was tough, but we used similar guidelines. It may be awkward, but I don’t think you should invite people just out of association (ie, the 2 other people who are only sometimes around). My fiance gave me this question, which turned some of those "maybes" into easy decisions. If this person was getting married, would we be invited their wedding?

Post # 5
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

We are inviting only those co-workers that we also socialize with outside of work.  We work for a very large company, but both work on small projects, so our circles of immediate co-workers are pretty small.  We did have several co-workers ask us if they were invited – and just explained that it’s a small wedding, basically close friends and immediate family, and so we can’t invite everybody.  Then we were careful to let those co-workers that are invited know exactly who is invited and who isn’t, and we’re being careful not to talk too awfully much about the wedding at work.

I don’t see any reason why you should invite bosses or co-workers unless they are also friends.  After all, your wedding is a social event – not a work related function.  Which is why our basic guideline was that if we had invited co-workers to a purely social function (say, over to our house for drinks or dinner) or vice versa, we’d invite them.  And if we had only socialized with them at work or at a work-related function, we wouldn’t.  So far nobody seems to be insulted or to have trouble understanding our logic.

Post # 7
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

i have the same question w/ a slightly different situation:

Basically, I’m done w/ my "job" two or three months after my wedding. 

I’m inviting my bosses (who will become collegues after I finish), but I don’t want to invite two of the four assistants we have.  The two I don’t want to invite are complete lazy butts and gossips like crazy and talks about everyone (not my type of friend).

I don’t want to invite one of my coworker since I can’t stand her (she’s selffish and just a terrible person), but is that right, if I invite the other 7?

Should I jsut invite everyone so I don’t have to hear it from the non-invited people for two or three months?

Post # 8
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

we had our own set of invitation rules – we had to have spent time with or spoken to the potential invitee in the last three months, they had to be someone  we BOTH had met (some family or overseas friends exempted) and definitely someone we had spent time with outside of work or other social constructs (for example, we have a ton of people we see all the time at dance events, but have never spent time with off the dance floor).  it was a helpful way to keep the guest list down and also created a list of people with whom we are truly close and will be glad to have celebrate with us.  at times, it has been hard.  no one in the office made the cut, not event the bosses, but they all understand. 

if you socialize with co-workers or bosses outside the office, then it makes sense to invite them and not the ones you’re not close with, but in a small office it could be rather awkward.  do what you feel is right and best of luck! 

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