(Closed) Who to make wedding check out to?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5388 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’ve been wondering the same thing.

Post # 4
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I had no problems at all cashing checks that were in my married name even before I got married.  We also cashed checks in single accounts as long as both of us signed the back of the check.

Post # 5
166 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You could always make it out to cash.

Post # 6
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

@Sweet Melissa: I would be wary of making a check out to cash ever since you don’t know if it will fall into the wrong hands before going to the bank.

Post # 7
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

My Fi was able to cash out checks that were made out to “Mr & Mrs. Married name”, but my bank wouldn’t take them.  I think the safest route is to do “Mr. Last Name OR Ms. Maiden name”.  I had a honeymoon registry and that is how the check that the site cut us was written.  

Post # 8
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

I would make it out to both of them, using her maiden name.

Post # 9
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012


YOU difinetely want to ensure that you still use your maiden name since the process of chaning your name takes 1-2 weeks depending on how good you are with the process.

On the other hand, make the check out in your maiden name or your future husbands.

I would make them all to me and when my hubby checks I will say “checks what checks that money is all the sweat, tears, and band-aids I had to buy “

If you write out the checks utilizing your married name you will have trouble when the banks tries to cash in the check becuase your maiden name has not yet changed.

Post # 10
1752 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Yeah, my dad was a bank manager, so I asked him.

He said they will let you DEPOSIT anything.  If it’s made out to both of you, with your maiden name, both should sign, sign with your madien name.  If it’s made out to mr & mrs, sign with your married name.

No problems.

Post # 11
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I would always make it out to the groom in case the bride’s bank won’t let her deposit the cheque yet. But that might just be me.

Post # 12
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I was able to cash checks made out to both our names. All i had to do was bring a copy of my marriage license as proof we were married. This was before i got my name changed.

We had a joint account set up before the wedding in his name and my maiden name. But we both had to sign off on the checks. Just like Ella said.

Post # 13
699 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Sorry to raise this from the dead, but it came up when I was googling (going to write a blog post on the topic).

#1 – Send an email transfer instead, if you can

#2 – Make it out to one person, in their pre-wedding name.  In the note field write “congrats Chris and Kris” or whatever, so that it’s clear it’s for both of them.

#3 – Do not make anything out to CASH.  Unfortunately, gifts go missing all the time and at least if it’s a cheque you have the ability to put a hold on it, plus it would be much, much more difficult for someone to cash it.

#4 – Dont make it out to Mr & Mrs HisFirst HisLast.  Yes, it’s just money, but that really offends some people (I’d be one of them).  Plus, it runs into some of the other listed problems.

Reasons – banking laws are different all over, as are name change laws.  Friends just got married, one is American and one is Canadian.  Holy crap did that cause issues.  Some couples do not have joint bank accounts, causing another problem.  Some couples will not be changing their name(s) and then that causes problems as well.  Some jurisdictions will not automatically accept another’s marriage licence and sometimes it takes a couple several weeks to get a copy of the marriage certificate.  It’s best to avoid all of these things.

I ended up showing my bank my marriage certificate, so that they can have a secondary name on file for me that uses my spouse’s last name.  I have not changed my name though.

If you are really worried that making a cheque out to just one person would offend, you could consider writing two checks for equal amounts, though that makes it seem more like you are splitting the money, to some.


..I might have missed some things, but that will cover most.

Post # 14
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

My friend just got married in September and I used “Nicole (Maiden name) and Jeff (Last name). They didn’t have a problem cashing/depositing what so ever.

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