Post # 1
Out of curiosity how did you decide on your bridesmaids? Was there anyone you felt like you “had” to include otherwise they’d be upset?
I have a friend who’s dropped numerous hints that she’d be devastated if she wasn’t part of my bridal party. While she’s a good friend she often makes rude comments to me. I know she doesn’t realize she does this so I try to cut her some slack. I’m torn about including her so her feelings aren’t hurt vs having the bridal party I really want. I feel like not including her would cause some major problems in our friendship and I don’t want to hurt her feelings. What do you guys think?
Post # 2
I included who I wanted to, that being said the only person I included because I *felt* I had to was my SIL (d.h. told me she wanted to be a bridesmaid) and in the end she was the biggest pain in my ass through everything, so I would say no, don’t include anyone, especially a friend, because you feel like you have to.
Post # 3
Trust your gut instincts. Don’t be guilted into asking people that ask/hint when you weren’t planning on asking them! I immediately had 4 in mind I couldn’t imagine not having (my sister and 3 best friends). I also asked my two SILs. I had a flaky, dramatic, old friend who wanted to be a bridesmaid and felt bad and asked. Huge mistake, had to remove her a month before my wedding.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t give her such a large role in your wedding. If you feel like you have to include her, have her read a verse or something less stressful. Having her as a bridesmaid will only lead to stress, and there is no reason for you to take on unwanted stress because of guilt. It’s your wedding– choose exactly who you want.
Post # 5
I definitely feel pressure to include people. Two friends in particular are ones that I know will make a big fuss about not being a bridesmaid, when in reality they’d actually be the worst bridesmaids.
This is probably not a popular option, but you could always consider not having a bridal party at all. My Fiance and I both agreed that we don’t like the idea of having to pick friends that are the most special to us, because friends can be important to you at different parts of your life. So—no best man, no maid of honors, no bridesmaids, no groomsmen.
If it becomes and issue then we’re going the easy way and using each of our only siblings to fill the positions of best man and maid of honor. Easy, because who can argue with that choice?
In the end, do what you want to do, and not what someone else says. A friend who demands you do something for them (on a day about you), needs to consider their own motives here.