(Closed) Who to pick?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
2125 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I included who I wanted to, that being said the only person I included because I *felt* I had to was my SIL (d.h. told me she wanted to be a bridesmaid) and in the end she was the biggest pain in my ass through everything, so I would say no, don’t include anyone, especially a friend, because you feel like you have to.

Post # 3
1110 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

Trust your gut instincts. Don’t be guilted into asking people that ask/hint when you weren’t planning on asking them! I immediately had 4 in mind I couldn’t imagine not having (my sister and 3 best friends). I also asked my two SILs. I had a flaky, dramatic, old friend who wanted to be a bridesmaid and felt bad and asked. Huge mistake, had to remove her a month before my wedding.


Post # 4
644 posts
Busy bee

I wouldn’t give her such a large role in your wedding.  If you feel like you have to include her, have her read a verse or something less stressful.  Having her as a bridesmaid will only lead to stress, and there is no reason for you to take on unwanted stress because of guilt.  It’s your wedding– choose exactly who you want. 

Post # 5
1008 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

I definitely feel pressure to include people. Two friends in particular are ones that I know will make a big fuss about not being a bridesmaid, when in reality they’d actually be the worst bridesmaids.

This is probably not a popular option, but you could always consider not having a bridal party at all. My Fiance and I both agreed that we don’t like the idea of having to pick friends that are the most special to us, because friends can be important to you at different parts of your life. So—no best man, no maid of honors, no bridesmaids, no groomsmen.

If it becomes and issue then we’re going the easy way and using each of our only siblings to fill the positions of best man and maid of honor. Easy, because who can argue with that choice?

In the end, do what you want to do, and not what someone else says. A friend who demands you do something for them (on a day about you), needs to consider their own motives here.

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