Post # 1
I have a slight issue… I need to pick my Maid/Matron of Honor and BMs, and I have very limited sources. I’ve never gotten along with girls much. I have one friend who I’ve known about 6 years and we’re close, but sometimes go months without talking because we live about 5 hours away. I’ll probably choose her as my Maid/Matron of Honor, but she’s always late, really busy and kinda flakey when it comes to important things sometimes. I’m thinking of asking if she’d like to be my Maid/Matron of Honor, or if she feels comfortable with all the responsibilities. Next, BMs: My fiance’s sister, who is totally sweet, but I’ve only met her twice and she’s a bit controlling. She is totally beautiful and I’ve had a few people tell me not to pick girls who will ‘out do’ me in pictures. Next, if we only go with three, I have to choose between a girl I went to college with and is really flakey, kinda weird and sweet, or my much younger cousin. I kind of feel that if I pick four, then it would be these four, but any less and one of these girls would feel left out, because they’ve all mentioned it to me. My last option is two sisters that I’ve know since 1st grade, but I haven’t spoken to them in about two years. We were best friends and had a falling out, we always said we’d be each other bridesmaids, but was that schoolgirl talk? Any advice?? oh, and when should I ask them? Thanks!
Post # 3
Choose people who will be there for you and not add stress to your wedding planning. People that you can count on. People that you trust. Be clear about what your expectations are if they choose to accept the role. We had a LOT of issues with our Bridal party including losing the both the best man and the best mate and one Bridesmaid or Best Man. It was extremely stressful to the point where I wished we didn’t have a Bridal party or that we eloped. IF everyone is flaky or not involved in your life now, that is how it may be at your wedding or any events in attachment to your wedding
Post # 4
I ended up going with all family (besides my MOH). It just makes sense, and those really will be the people who are still in your life years down the road. Plus, maybe this can help stregthen your relationship with your cousin and FSIL? I know you said your cousin is young, but I have 3 girls in my wedding under 21 and to be honest – they’ve been the most excited and helpful out of all my girls.
Post # 5
Can you forgo a wedding party? We have plenty of friends and family who are dear to us, but I’m just anti-wedding party.
Post # 6
I think it might be a good opportunity for you to develop your relationship with Future Sister-In-Law and cousin. I would always pick family before I chose a friend unless it was a REALLY good friend that I knew I could count on no matter what. I don’t think worrying about a flaky friend is worth the added stress.
And remember, you don’t HAVE to pick anyone. You don’t have to pick someone just because you feel like you should have a certain number of bridesmaids. You don’t have a bridal party at all!
Post # 7
Be careful with family and make sure that they are interested in actually being a part of the wedding. Sometimes a Future Sister-In-Law or cousin will feel obligated to say yes, or you feel obligated to includ them, and it leads to drama because they aren’t really as involved as they should be/ as you want them to be, or they feel that you are asking more than they signed up for.
Post # 8
@Lonicera: this looks like it;s older and bumped up, but I”m curious what you endedu p deciding?