Post # 1
I have a little bit of a predicament.
A few years ago, I moved out-of-state and while I still keep in touch with some of my friends from home, I have a wonderful group of girl friends where I live now.
I’m really torn about who I should ask to be my bridesmaids. Right now, I am thinking that I want to ask three of my close friends from my new hometown. Yet, on the other hand, I don’t want my old friends from home to be hurt that I didn’t ask them.
The way I look at it is that the girls that live near me now will be able to be here for me and help me a whole lot more than my friends who live 1000 miles away. Don’t get me wrong, even though they live far away, I still value their opinions and still want to include them as much as possible.
I have also thought about the idea of doing a “house party”, however, the wedding probably isn’t going to be that big so I thought it would be kind of weird to ask everyone to participate in that way.
What are your thoughts??
Post # 3
@sweettealove: How many girls are in this group of new friends?
Post # 4
I am asking my two cousins to be maid-of-honor and matron-of-honor and then there are three girls that I am closest with from my newer circle of friends whom I would like to ask to be bridesmaids.
I have three friends from home that are all married with children and two other friends who I had in mind. Another problem that I can forsee though is that because the wedding is going to be here in Charleston where I live now, it’s not even guaranteed that they will all be able to make it down since they have families and traveling can be expensive.
Post # 5
How many total guests do you anticipate inviting?
The fewer members of the wedding party you have, the less it will cost you (and them) and you will have less drama.
Could you select one from each of the groups to sort of represent that social group? Or, don’t choose anyone from either group to avoid hurt feelings.
Post # 6
I am anticipating about 80-100 people, which I know isnt’ exactly thaaaat small..
I thought about just having my two cousins and that’s it to avoid having to even ask someone else, but my I have a brother and FI has two brothers and a cousin that he wants to be a part of the wedding party. So with that being said, I feel like I need to even things out and it’s not like I don’t have anyone I would want to ask.
I wouldn’t necessarily said that I could easily choose one from each group since a couple are from high school, a couple are from college, and a couple are from post-college.
Ugh, decisions! haha
Post # 7
@sweettealove: You don’t have to have even sides!!! You should pick whoever you want, and he should pick whoever he wants. The guys can stand at the altar and your cousins can walk in together (or individually) then you can alternate GM/BM/GM/BM/GM for the recessional. Don’t include people for the sake of evenness… it will end up inviting drama.
Post # 8
@sweettealove: I understand your predicament. I also moved thousands of miles from my home/college state. My options were to just have family members in our bridal party (my sister, his sister as BMs; his 2 brothers as GM) or to go BIG. We went BIG. I have my sister, cousin, two of my close girlfriends from middle/highschool & college, my future SIL and 3 girlfriends I became very close with in my new state. They are the people I want with me at my bridal shower, getting ready, etc.
Don’t forget to consider the cost of bouquets for each BM, gifts, etc. That will cost more than you may anticipate! Also, remember that the girls should be understanding of whatever decision you make. Just because they are not in your bridal party does not mean they can’t attend your shower and bachelorette party, or be a special part of your big day.
Post # 9
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
1. You can have uneven bridal parties. Don’t choose people for the sake of numbers.
2. Your brother can stand with you (not your FI).
3. You can skip having a bridal party all together and save yourself a lot of headaches.
4. You can have a ginormous party with your best friends from all points in time.
Basically, you have tons of options that you can consider. Whatever you do, think VERY carefully about your decisions ahead of time and don’t be hasty. Bridesmaid drama is one of the most recurring themes we see around here. People choose maids to try and save dying friendships and it blows up in their face. People choose maids to try and appease the in-laws and it blows up in their face. People choose unorganized maids and then expect them to miraculously become super organized, party-planning, DIY producing divas… and it blows up in their face. It can go all sorts of wrong, so be smart about it.